Heartlesstory
by Bananafish II
Summary: Roxas is a normal, slightly-below average high school student in Twilight Town. But really, what's "normal," anyways? After a mysterious classmate falls from the sky, Roxas finds himself immersed in a world of secrets, Nobodies, and of course, Heartless. An AU fic best described as Kingdom Hearts filtered through Bakemonogatari, or vice versa. The Olette Shadow arc is now complete!
1. Olette Shadow Part 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Bakemonogatari. Because I was/am explicitly reading a fan translation of the first volume while writing this, I hesitate to even call this original. Chalk it up to a plotbunny that I can't get out of my head. **

* * *

Although she was intelligent, athletic, and one of the cutest girls in the school, Olette Jessel rarely talked to anyone on her own initiative. True, she spoke up in class, answered when spoken to, and rejected any and all potential dates respectfully, but to her fellow students at Twilight Town Central High, she was practically a ghost. A ghost with a sharp wit, a slim figure, and eyes like polished remembrance shards perhaps, but a ghost nonetheless. After sitting quietly in class, she slipped out the door and vanished to nobody knew where.

Many of her classmates joked that she lived in the graveyard.

They found her peculiar in other ways as well; though she hardly spoke, she was a voracious reader. As studious as she was, any lull in the class lesson was invariably an invitation to slip a book out of her book bag with all the silence of a sword being drawn out of its sheath, and the imperceptible sound of pages sliding against one another. She read everything: fiction, nonfiction, creative nonfiction, historical fiction, etc., anything she could get her hands on. Her teachers didn't mind much, though: GPA-wise, she easily ranked among the top ten in all of her classes.

She was similarly gifted athletically. A top-notch runner and an even better swimmer, she easily made the varsity team in her freshman year and thriving competitively. She was well-known among the other athletes for her diverse talents.

The only sports she refused to compete in were the long jump and pole-vaulting.

She _looked_ athletic as well, and this did not go unnoticed. But, despite her intelligence, looks, and status, she had no friends. Not a single one.

Some said she preferred it that way. Every week-at least once a week-someone was almost guaranteed to ask her out. Normally, that someone was let down with one of her usual standbys:

(1): "I'm really busy this week."

(2): "I have a private training/study session that night."

(3): "No."

She was nothing if not polite, though. Even the would-be boyfriends that wouldn't take no for an answer never said otherwise.

* * *

Roxas Leblanc did not see himself as a potential date, but he found her curious regardless. Through some stroke of luck or-as his friend, Pence, stressed tirelessly-coincidence, he had somehow managed to wind up taking the exact same classes that she did for three years, starting with their freshman year.

Through similar circumstances-_or_, he sometimes thought, _because she probably thinks I'm stalking her_-the two of them never spoke. It was not a conscious effort on one's part to avoid the other, simply happenstance. Neither of them called attention to the strangeness of being in the exact same classes three years in a row, and neither of them cared about it that much at the time. But later, when he actually thought about it, he realized how odd she actually was.

First: she was socially nonexistent. This was almost identical to her status as the school ghost, but with the slight distinction that should have been inescapable. Though Roxas and his friends were never at the center of the politics, and had better things to worry about, they got dragged in all the same. Seifer Almasy and the rest of the Twilight Town Disciplinary Committee saw to that. But Olette, despite her quietness and overwhelming popularity amongst the boys that should have created at least one or two rivals, was not involved in the least. It was as though her silence stood around her like a barrier or an invisible reflect spell. She was not involved except for when she absolutely had to be. She was neither bullied or a bully, and it appeared that she would remain that way.

Secondly: her voice was off. It didn't sound bad, per say, though. Roxas thought that her voice sounded nice. Hayner would have teased him mercilessly for saying it, but it was true. But that wasn't odd in the least. What Roxas _did_ find odd though, when he thought about her voice, was that she was completely emotionless. She had a way of speaking that sounded fairly normal upon hearing it for the first time, and would probably continue to seem normal as long as she didn't speak up too much. But there was a difference between emoting and pretending to emote; her voice had an inflection that suggested a bright and chipper personality, but there was no variation. Absolutely no variation. Regardless of the events happening around her-gossip, politics, petty arguments and the like-she was forever unruffled and her tone never changed. He heard that she sounded exactly the same whenever she turned someone down.

At times, she seemed less like a student and more like a permanent fixture of the school.

But it hadn't mattered.

Though it was curious that they were in all the same classes, and she was a curious person herself, everything was just a passing curiosity. He had known her for three years of school, yes, but what did that even mean? He had known plenty of other people just as long: people that he hesitated to call friends, per say, but that he actually spoke to. He often wondered why he was so hung up on Olette sometimes when there were so many other people he knew better. But, then again, how many people in the school did he actually call friends? It was a simple question that he preferred not to talk about when asked:

(1): Hayner Biggman

(2): Pence Wedgeson

(3): N/A

Hayner and Pence were his only close friends. It bothered him sometimes, but he felt like he had no room to complain. After all, Olette was a total shut-in and she seemed to get along just fine. Everyone could handle their own problems. High school was easy compared to what went on elsewhere in the world, or even just Twilight Town. People had their quirks, and any problems by those quirks were their owners' problems. They took care of their problems, and the world went on turning. Or they didn't, and the world still went on turning.

That was just how things were supposed to work.

But.

One day.

It was the first day of spring. A clear day and a Friday. Contrasting with the fluorescent lights gleaming on the linoleum steps, the sky was a hot pink flecked with neon orange and sky-blue clouds, fading to a pale red in the distance. Taking it slow, Roxas paused at the bottom of the stairs to look at the clock tower glowing gold against the gradually deepening darkness when something fell to the ground, followed by something else.

Behind him, about twenty books of various genres were scattered across the floor. Curious, he reached for the closest one when he heard the sound of fluttering cloth above him.

Olette Jessel was falling down the stairwell.

It was a surreal moment. By her trajectory, she had probably fallen from the top floor ten stories above, falling over the edge, book bag and all. Perplexed, he stretched out his arms to catch her. It was natural. She was right above him, fell right into his arms. He could have just let her hit the ground, but he chose to catch her anyways.

It seemed like the proper thing to do.

It was a mistake.

Everyone had their own problems. Roxas himself was struggling against a D+ in his last class and more lackluster grades in his others. It didn't seem like a big deal. After all, high school was easy to deal with compared to some of the things that went on in Twilight Town. Problems go solved, or they didn't, and the world kept on turning.

But when Olette fell into his arms, slowing down to a complete halt, Roxas was convinced that her problem—whatever it may have been—was bigger than grades and gossip.

Because, as he gently set her down, helped pick up her books, and let her go without a word, it was amazing how light she was. She was like a feather, or a cloud.

Olette Jessel was so light, it was as though he hadn't caught anything at all.

Roxas stared out the window until the sun went down.

Who exactly was Olette Jessel?

* * *

"Olette Jessel?" Hayner laughed, taking a swig from a water bottle. "What about her?"

"Just curious," said Roxas.

"Don't tell me you're gonna be the next to ask her out. You shouldn't date her."

Roxas smiled. "Is _Hayner Biggman_ of all people really telling me _not_ to date someone?"

"Well, are you?"

"No, I'm not. It's just—she's kind of strange, isn't she?"

"Well, yeah. That's why you shouldn't date her. Have you seen that look she gives everyone that talks to her?"

"Yeah. I'm more interested in her body, though."

Roxas paused. His eyes went wide.

"That came out wrong."

Hayner snickered. "If you're going to be _that _way, maybe you should just go ahead and ask her out."

"It's not like _that_. What I meant was, who is she?"

"Olette Jessel is Olette Jessel. You're talking in circles and it's weirding me out, man."

"Okay. What do you know about her? You know everybody, after all."

"Damn right I do, but all I know about her is what you know about her."

_Maybe not even that much_, thought Roxas.

"So what's up? Why are you interested in her so suddenly? I always thought you were almost as much of a shut-in as her."

"Shut up. I'm training with you right now, aren't I."

Hayner Biggman.

Twilight Town Central High's resident rebel/slacker, he was forever blessed with a charismatic smile, an insatiable curiosity, and an impressive disregard for school rules and class schedules. He would have been a natural leader, were it not for his natural-born tendency to pry and his inability to lead, as opposed to simply giving orders.

Every waking moment of his life and occasionally in his sleep, he was surrounded by a halo of confidence and individuality. He was surrounded by the same halo when his family moved in next to Roxas's apartment in elementary school, walked around the junior high like he owned the place (and the high school as well, before he graduated), and Roxas was quite sure that his funeral would feature a supremely authoritative-looking corpse. Among the many stories surrounding him (many of which he started), was the rumor that he was actually the son of famous foreign military leader (blatantly false), and that he could outfight any single person in the entire school (unproven and debatable). Most of the time Roxas and Pence rolled their eyes and humored him, but every once in a while the rumors had more than a ring of truth to them.

For example: while Hayner was nowhere near as popular as he wanted to be, it had yet to be disproven that he knew _something_ about everyone.

He did.

Consistently.

With some of the most random facts that were reliably true, such as Seifer Almasy's expansive collection of hats or Fuu Jinette's phobia of bananas.

Hayner was someone who knew something about everyone, and vice versa. Olette was someone who nobody knew anything about, and didn't seem especially interested in learning about anybody else. When this was coupled with Hayner's ferocious disregard for attendance and homework, the contrast between Hayner and Olette was striking. It was as though they were complete opposites.

"Hey, Roxas? Why are you smiling like that?"

Of course, it would be wrong to say that they were completely opposite. They were both supremely stubborn in their own way: Hayner whenever he got an idea in his head, and Olette whenever she was turning down a date. While Roxas had never experienced Olette Jessel's brand of determination, he knew Hayner Biggman's all too well.

Three months before Olette fell down the stairwell, Hayner set out to pick a fight with Seifer and the rest of his crew. Pence and Roxas tried to talk him out of it, but he would have none of it.

"C'mon, Roxas. Don't be like this. I know that you can fight just as well as I can. You should be doing this with me and you know it! How about it?"

"Two against four? No way! They'd slaughter us for sure!"

"That's what you think." He flashed a radiant smile before continuing on his way towards the sandlot.

Roxas tried again.

"Wait! If you're going to do this, at least try to get the edge. Something like, I dunno, going to the market first and buying a ban-"

"Stop. I know you guys are worried about me. I can't imagine why, but here we are now. I appreciate it, but it has to be like this. If I want to show that I'm the strongest guy in the school, it'd be pretty low of me to win by throwing a banana at someone. A real man uses his fists to win a fight!"

"And that makes eight fists against your two," Pence countered. "And you remember that Fuu can break a school desk in half with one punch, right?"

This was true. The Twilight Town Disciplinary Committee held regular demonstrations for the benefit of any would-be "troublemakers."

"Yeah," Roxas said, "at least using the banana could save you both a few broken bones. Fuu is a girl, after all."

Hayner paused. He did have a chivalrous side, even if the tough front he put on concealed it. He hated hitting girls.

"Trying to play it like that, huh, guys?" He frowned. "You've got it all wrong. It's kind of hard to explain, but, I really don't want to hit _anyone_. I'll admit that it's not right for me to do this, that it's not just or good or anything like that. But you don't understand: virtue doesn't make justice happen. Power does. One day, I'll be strong enough that I won't have to fight anyone again, but until then, I can't back down."

Roxas and Pence exchanged looks. They still weren't convinced.

Roxas turned and looked his friend in the eye.

"Hayner, why do you even _have_ to be the strongest?"

"Enough!" he flung his arm out as though he was slashing with a sword, cutting off any further arguments. "You boneheads aren't able to understand now, and I get that, but I promise you two-you especially, Roxas-that before we leave for the university next year, I'll show you what I mean! I will definitely change you for the better!"

_Well you're one to talk, aren't you?_ though Roxas as Hayner had vanished around a corner.

* * *

Three months later, Roxas still didn't know if Hayner's declaration was a blessing or a curse.

He had certainly changed for the better physically. Hayner's boxing lessons were doing wonders.

But they were killing his grades.

But if he cared about his grades so much, why did he keep going to train with Hayner and Pence after hours in the school weight room?

"Of course, this is just training for the big event," explained Hayner, "The three of us can still do crazy stuff like usual, but we should all try to be in good enough shape to win the Struggle Tournament."

As last year's champion of the Struggle Tournament, he placed more emphasis on training than studying. In hindsight, Pence got off easy. He was at his house that evening, probably studying.

Roxas, as Hayner's chosen apprentice, wasn't so lucky.

"You see, Roxas," Hayner said while punching a speed bag, "boxing teaches you how to fight _and_ strengthens your arm muscles. You have to be able to swing that bat, after all."

"Haven't you said this before?" He had.

"Don't be such a downer. I'm just trying to get you to focus."

"I _am_ focusing."

He finished up with one final punch. "Huh. Coulda' fooled me. Anyways, where were _you_ when I pulled off my big win last year?"

"In the audience."

"So you're a spectator. Well, it's better than being a no-show, I guess."

"I guess..."

"Sheesh! Don't sound so down. I said it was better, didn't I?"

"I wasn't spectating. I was, erm, scoping out the competition so I'd have a better chance this year."

"And this was before I convinced you to train? Heh. Okay."

Another swig of water. Roxas cleared his throat.

"I was wondering-"

The question caught in his throat.

"Spit it out."

"I was wondering if Olette showed up to the tournament last year?"

"Back to her again? I thought you said you were focusing."

No.

She hadn't.

Outside of school, she was practically nonexistent. All of her efforts were focused on interscholastic activities.

And didn't that make sense? In a larger, crowd, unorganized like those at the school, she was more likely to get bumped or knocked down. It was unlikely, but the chance was still there, and, with her being as light as she was, she probably wanted to hide it.

"You sure you don't have a thing for her, Roxas?"

"Not really."

"If you prefer the emotionless type, I'd say that Fuu would be an easier catch." Hayner teased.

"Emotionless, huh?"

That sounded about right.

Was it somehow related, though?

Was she forcing it upon herself, or was it like her weightlessness?

If her body had lightened to such an extent suddenly, it would probably be natural for her to shut herself away until it went back to normal, which could probably lead to her suppressing her emotions to prevent notice. But she went beyond that. Never once had Roxas seen her display so much as a flicker of emotion.

It was almost as unreal as yesterday.

"You really don't know anything else about her? C'mon, Hayner. You know everybody."

"I do. But not about her. It pisses me off."

"Hmm..."

"But it's not like I'm the only one, right? I mean, nobody knows anything about her, other than what goes on at school, right?"

"Yeah."

Old news.

"I guess I get why you're attracted though-"

"I'm not attracted-"

"Humor me. She's hot, brainy, and doesn't seem like a party animal. Sounds right up your alley."

"You're so original. Everybody knows those things."

"Yeah? Well, cut me some slack. She won't talk to me or any informants and it's like she vanishes after the bell rings. I drove myself crazy over Spring Break trying to find out something about her."

"Spring Break..."

"What's that?"

"Nothing. Go on."

"Well, I guess I kind of... accidentally asked her out."

"What?"

"You know how she lets guys down? That's basically what happened. I was hiding outside in her trashcan-"

"_What_?"

"Roxas, please! Anyways, I was hiding when she opened the lid, looked down at me, said she was busy, gave me the gist of her schedule, told me to go away, and slammed the lid shut." He smiled sheepishly. "So I guess getting all three in once counts as getting turned down?"

Roxas stared.

Part of it was amazement that his best friend would go to such lengths to find out something about his classmates, but part of it was astonishment that Olette Jessel forced him to go to such lengths. If Hayner Biggman, Twilight Town's resident information salesman, was reduced to curling up in a trashcan, then certainly she hid her life behind an ironclad veil of secrecy.

"It's annoying as hell, but I did hear that she used to be halfway normal in middle school. Not that it helps at all because she's like totally a different person."

"Middle school? What was she like in middle school?"

"Energetic. Bubbly. Social. Kinda hard to imagine, huh?"

It was.

"Take what you know about her now, and add those things I just told you. Sounds like a half-decent person, doesn't she?"

She did.

"She's also pretty rich, judging by the size of her house. Thing's practically a mansion! Her father probably runs a company or something, but I don't really have any way of finding out."

"She sounds nothing like she is now."

"Well, yeah. That's what's so odd. She's practically a shadow of herself now, if my sources told the truth."

_But how do you know even then? _thought Roxas. Rumors were rumors and people were people. Any secondhand information that Hayner possessed was already tainted by the opinions of his sources, as well as time. People changed. It was three years since any of them had attended middle school, three years during which Olette could have made a complete one-eighty. Maybe something had happened. Maybe her emotionlessness was related to her weightlessness, or something more serious. Time passed. The world turned. Even information went stale.

"And just on a side note-you're gonna have a field day with this one, Roxas."

"Huh?"

"She's really, uh... 'grown up' since middle school, apparently." Another sheepish smile.

Roxas smiled too.

"You really are a hypocrite, aren't you?"

But this, too, seemed significant. If Olette used to be like any other girl, when had she changed? When she grew older? Earlier? When her weight disappeared?

Because, it appeared to Roxas, her two states seemed almost as different as herself and Hayner. An energetic, bubbly, social junior-high age girl compared against an emotionless and weightless young woman.

It was almost as though the old Olette Jessel had died three years ago.

Olette Jessel.

A girl who looked whole, but seemed empty.

A spirit who stood apart from gossip and society alike.

An opposite unto herself.

Socially unknown.

A social nobody.

Was_ that_ significant?

Roxas glanced at the clock.

"Oh, wow. I've got to get going."

"What's up?"

"I'm meeting with Axel."

"Axel Lea? What does that guy want?"

"Dunno. He just asked me to help with a project of his."

Hayner sighed. "You're too vague sometimes, Roxas. You know that, right?" He stretched and reached for his gloves, watching him. "I'm gonna be training for a while longer."

While Hayner claimed to know something about everyone, there were actually _two_ people who had evaded his information-gathering efforts. Olette Jessel was the first, and Axel Lea was the second. He never explained why, but his attitude often gave Roxas and Pence the impression that he was unreasonably afraid of the man. Roxas could think of several reasons why this would be, but it was still unreasonable.

He decided not to call any more attention to it.

"Don't stop too soon. I'll come back later, alright?"

"Alright, but you'll have to train twice as hard tomorrow if you don't, got it?"

"Got it."

Smiling, Roxas gave a mock salute before stepping out of the gym.


	2. Olette Shadow Part 2

The gym door closed with an audible "_click_!" behind Roxas. He began to take a step towards the staircase when someone spoke.

"How's your training with Hayner going?"

It was a friendly voice.

He turned around.

Though her face was obscured by the glare of the setting sun behind her, he knew her voice. It was a voice used to diligently answer questions in class and to turn down dates politely...

The "_click_!" of hard-soled shoes on linoleum.

"Don't move."

Olette Jessel?

The world stopped turning.

Even as he stood there, Roxas still had no idea how it had happened. There she was, standing not a six inches away from him, with her ring finger in his mouth and something pointed touching just inside his left cheek...

"Actually, you can do whatever you want, but remember: freedom to act outside the rules is not protection against doing so."

Her voice sounded the same as ever, but there was an edge to it that hadn't been there in class, or in the hallways.

Perhaps she wasn't completely emotionless...

Roxas quivered. The-ring, was it?-poked his cheek like a needle.

He was afraid.

Her voice was almost the same, but her eyes had changed. They were wide now, filled with excitement and anger, and maybe a little bit of-

No.

_Definitely_ a little bit of fear.

It didn't help Roxas much, though. He was still the one with the pointed object in his mouth.

"I'm actually _really_ surprised that this is happening," she said, "I would have expected to do be doing this to your friend instead, but my ears were tingling, so I decided to fix that."

Roxas tried to protest, aware that the needle-point was digging into his cheek. He stopped.

"I see you've noticed my fencer's ring. My dad's company specializes in self-defense accessories for the wealthy, some of which are infused with magic. I hope you're enjoying the demonstration." Again, her voice was unchanged.

_Maybe she's not emotionless_, thought Roxas,_ just insane. _

Her eyes narrowed. Could she tell what he was thinking? Maybe his expression had changed ever so slightly, that she had seen _something_ in his eyes. It didn't really matter at this point, but-

"Here's another one of my dad's products." Before he could blink, she pulled something else, about the half the length of her hand with a short chain on the end, out of her book bag and pushed it against the inside of his right cheek.

It was very sharp.

"It's called a raven's claw, but that's a misnomer. It's actually harvested from black chocobos. It also makes a pretty good necklace." She said this matter-of-factly, as though he had been just dying to know.

The object, Roxas noted, wasn't inserted all the way into his mouth. Just the very tip. Superficial injury? Maybe if he backed away quickly-

But the ring had him hooked like a fish.

Her eyes narrowed, her hand twitched. The chain links rattled with a "_click!_" She smiled, but her eyes didn't change.

"Ah-"

He literally had no say in this. With so many pointed objects in his mouth, plus one finger, he decided that speaking would be against his best interests. It was instinctual.

The raven's claw was as long as her hand, but thinner than her finger, so it had slipped in easily. Was that intentional?

Looking into her eyes, he decided that it probably was.

He was trapped.

He could neither retreat or advance. If he pulled away, the ring would tear his left cheek out. If he decided to fight back, the knife would slice the inside of his mouth and probably skewer him.

They both stood perfectly still.

Behind the gym door, Roxas could hear Hayner hitting the punching bag.

A "shadow of her former self"?

_Really_?

"You're something else, Roxas." She smiled, gave a short laugh. He would have taken it as a compliment under different circumstances. "Most of the people I meet this way just won't leave me alone, but you've gone above and beyond all that in a single day."

Her eyes shifted subtly towards the gym door. "So just where was that conversation with Hayner going, exactly?"

His heart pounded in his chest. Had she been following him?

"After he told you something about me, would you have let it go right there? Or would you have gone and mentioned a new wonder to Pence? Understand: I wouldn't be doing this if I hadn't heard my name behind that door. This all could have been avoided if you had simply never mentioned me again. Forgetting about yesterday would have been good as well."

Roxas said nothing.

"Tell me, Roxas: do you like video games?" He raised an eyebrow. It seemed like an odd question, even coming from her. She smiled at him and gave another demure little laugh. "You can think of this as a 'random encounter,' if it helps. I mean, that's pretty much how yesterday went, right?"

"I was just careless, I guess. I'm usually much more aware than I was yesterday. But I was carrying a large stack of books from the library when I caught a glimpse of the sunset. Distracted, I walked into the railing, dropped my books, and fell ten stories."

She paused, giving time for it to sink in.

_Why tell it all again? I was there._

"It was then that you caught me, and pierced all my defenses. People call me emotionless, and there's some truth to that, but it can't be helped. My other secret, however..."

Her eyes shifted back to his.

"I'll just come out and say it: I'm nearly weightless."

_No way._

"I'm not completely weightless, as you can tell, but- and I'm actually kind of embarrassed to say this, but," she said without a hint of shyness, "I _should_ weigh a lot more."

Roxas nodded. Her eyes narrowed again.

The knife slid in deeper.

"You're interested in my body, aren't you?" The question caught him off guard. "I heard you and Hayner talking, remember?"

_I didn't mean it like that!_

"Of course, I'll let it slide this time. It's not every day you meet someone who weighs five pounds." The knife slid in deeper. She was such a comedian.

_Five pounds?_

"It's pretty strange, but it has its perks. I can jump like nobody's business and falling doesn't hurt me at all, but I've felt as though I'm floating ever since I got involved in this whole mess."

_"This whole mess"? _Roxas repeated to himself. _What does she mean by that?_

He considered, for a moment, the possibility that she had been involved in an accident at her father's company, an accident involving the development of a new kind of gravity spell, perhaps. But this was unlikely at best; gravity-altering spells tended to last a few minutes at the most. The spells that held the blitzball field aloft at the last Summer Fair, for example, had to be renewed every fifteen minutes. If Olette had been this way for three years, then the chances that her weightlessness was simply caused by the effects of a spell were slim to none.

Her focus seemed to deepen. Hayner would have been proud.

"I know what you're thinking about."

_Huh?_

"I know that I've developed a bit since middle school, but I never would have expected _you_ of all people to look at me like that. I expected better from you, Roxas."

Until about a minute ago, he hadn't been aware that she had expected anything from him at all.

Her smile was still present. She didn't sound hurt.

"You're full of surprises, aren't you, Roxas?"

Sure, she kept to herself. But maybe she and Hayner weren't complete opposites. In a particularly bad mood, he could be almost as vicious.

However, she was certainly better at concealing her emotions. But even so, she seemed to be enjoying herself immensely. But that still proved nothing. Ignoring the edge, her voice was identical to every other time she chose to speak. It was as though she was simply turning down another date or answering a question in class.

_Maybe she's a sociopath. Does that still count as insane?_

"Now, here's a surprise for you: it happened in the summer before my freshman year," she said. "When my dad's company had just started up, and he remarried, this happened."

_What happened?_

"One evening, three years ago, I was walking in the woods when I met... a rabbit."

_A rabbit? _

_Like the animal?_

Roxas kept his expression blank. It was an odd start, as though she was making up a fairy tale for his benefit, but he didn't dare laugh.

"It took a portion of my weight, and a portion of my emotions. That's what happened."

_A rabbit took her emotions?_

"It's okay if you don't understand, Roxas. It's difficult to understand if it hasn't happened to you. I don't have weight. I don't have emotion. It's not a problem-having nothing to hold me down or hold me back besides my self-control-it's not that bad." She glanced towards the gym door again, but swiftly returned to Roxas. "There are only two people in this school that know about my problem. The first is the school doctor. Principal Ansem knows nothing. Vice Principal Xehanort knows nothing. Not even Hayner has a clue. Only the school doctor knows my secret. And you."

She lightened her grip on the knife and withdrew it, just an inch.

"So, Roxas. Can I ask you to keep a secret, too? I'd really appreciate it, and I'd like it if I didn't have to cut out your tongue." The dissonance between her words and her voice was chilling. A shiver ran down his spine.

She thought it over. Her hands twitched again. _Click! _Roxas stared at the black blade protruding from his mouth.

"I've got it! How about this: in exchange for letting you keep your tongue, you never talk about this to anyone again. Would that work for you? You can talk about anything else under the sun, except stuff directly involving me. Could you do that, Roxas? For me?"

She smiled warmly.

"If you can, Roxas, nod twice. If you can't, or won't, I'm sure we can come to... _another_ agreement." This time, her ring-finger twitched.

_How diplomatic. _Seeing no other choice, he nodded immediately.

She sighed and smiled, sweetly this time. Her hands were still in his mouth. Her arms, which had been ramrod-straight the entire encounter, relaxed. She seemed relieved, although Roxas couldn't see why she would have expected it to go differently.

"Thanks, Roxas," she said as she slowly straightened her finger. He tried not to gag as she drew her finger and her knife out slow. Painfully slow.

They were almost out when-

_Click!_

"Wahh-?"

SLICE.

She drew them out together, dragging along the inside of his mouth.

Cuts.

Blood.

Pain.

She deftly twirled the knife and sheathed it in her book bag. The chain clicked like an insect.

He collapsed.

He grasped at his mouth in pain.

"Ahh...oww."

"You're stronger than Hayner gives you credit for. For example, you're not screaming." Another glance at the gym door. "That's very considerate."

He glared up at her, still clutching his mouth. "W-why?"

_Click!_

In an instant, the knife was out again. The chain rattled quietly. Roxas flinched.

"When dealing with rival companies, my dad sometimes had to resort to... questionable tactics. As heiress to the family business, I'm afraid that I may have more of my dad in me than I'm willing to admit. Just think of my privacy as my own personal business, and yours as your own. I'd like it if you stayed out of mine, and minded your own."

She sounded the same, but her face matched her eyes now.

"On Monday, Roxas, be sure to ignore me. This conversation never happened. I hope that the rest of your weekend is good."

She then turned and walked towards the steps before he could respond. He could hear her footsteps echoing down the stairs, and fade soon after.

"Probably a sociopath."

He got up, wiping the blood from his mouth.

He examined the wounds, sticking a finger in his mouth and felt them. As he had expected, they were shallow, but still painful. He felt lucky. Considering her advantage, she could have done a lot worse if she had wanted to.

There was blood on the floor. Not a lot, but a noticeable amount. There was no point in making people ask questions, though. He decided to mop it up with his sweat towel.

"Roxas! Why are you still hanging out here? I thought you said you were leaving." said Hayner as he stepped out of the gym to refill his water bottle, wiping his face with his own towel.

_Not a moment too soon_, though Roxas.

Had Olette simply chosen an opportunity to strike, or had she simply waited until he was specifically leaving the gym? The walls and doors were especially thick, and in all actuality the encounter had been remarkably quiet. Like the finger-knife sequence, he imagined that meeting him at the gym had been part of the plan from the start.

"I just had a bloody nose. Nothing serious. I just thought it would be best not to go anywhere too quickly." He raised the bloody towel.

Hayner shook his head. "Man, that sucks. But you shouldn't keep Axel waiting. You don't know what that guy's going to do next."

"Right. I'm off now," said Roxas, running towards the stairs.

"Oi! I thought you said you weren't going anywhere too quickly!" Hayner shouted, but Roxas ignored him.

Down the staircase, three flights of stairs. Seventh floor. She had to be close.

He leaped down the stairs now, three at a time, swiftly, as though he was dancing, aware of each impact, of gravity.

_How would it feel to be like Olette?_ he wondered.

No weight.

No emotions.

Nothing to hold her down except herself.

A rabbit.

She said that a rabbit had taken them.

Though he was making plenty of noise, he doubted that she would try to hide. Perhaps she would assume it was someone else, or that Hayner had found him and given chase. Still, she would probably attack him if he confronted her. Roxas just hoped that he wouldn't try to follow. He leaped down the fifth flight of stairs, the third, the first.

She was at the bottom.

Though she was standing on the other side of the room, in the shadow of the floor above, she was already turning to face him. The space invader obviously wanted him to stay away.

Her eyes were like remembrance shards. Or ice cubes.

Her voice didn't echo at all. "You're a curious person," she said. "Most people don't even come to school for a day or two."

"Most..."

The persistent ones.

It made sense that she refused to date. She probably avoided contact with strangers and acquaintances as much as possible. As far as keeping her secret safe went, to accept a date would be to venture into dangerous territory.

"I'm surprised to see you again so soon. Most people are too scared to even look at me afterwards." That matter-of-fact voice again. She was serious.

"Maybe I wasn't clear enough," she said, reaching into her book bag again, "or maybe you're the kind of guy who would hit a girl back. Either way..."

"You've made a _big_ mistake."

Her hands were bristling with keychains. An array of crowns, shells, feathers, hearts, stars, cards, lamps, amulets, butterflies, pumpkins, flowers, books, lions, snowflakes, coins, ghosts, discs, bees, bottles, mushrooms, moons, flames, gems, hats, clocks, gears, ice cream, bells, and fish hung from her hands, gleaming sharply. With all of the chain links in her collection, she could easily strike anything around her within a five-foot radius.

They were at the bottom of the spiral staircase, in plain view of the floors above. Roxas desperately hoped that Hayner had simply gone back to beating on the punching bag.

She stood as still as a statue, waiting for him to move.

"I don't want to fight you!"

"No?" She didn't change her stance. The array of pointed accessories glistened in the sunlight. "Then what do you want?"

"I think I can help you."

"By taking me to dinner and a show? I'll pass."

_She's joking around. How much emotion did the rabbit leave her with?_

"It wasn't much for me to ask, you know. You were a gentleman, and I simply wanted to explain the situation. But this-playing with my hopes-is _unacceptable_." She leaped.

Twenty feet across the span of the spiral staircase.

She had no weight.

No emotions.

Nothing to hold her down or back.

In reality, it was hardly a leap at all, but it was still effective. It was as though she simply stopped moving, and the world brought him to her. He tumbled backwards, somersaulting out of range. A shoe clicked on the wall behind him and she was on him again, swinging wildly, letting the charms pull her down on top of him. He rolled again but she was already beside him, standing at the eye of a storm of metal.

He raised his arms. Hundreds of tiny metal pieces dug in, shredding his sleeves, drawing blood. Had she sharpened all of them?

She raised her right arm to swing when he struck back, catching her ankles with his left foot and tripping her. Her face was a mask of rage as he closed in and forced her down before she could catch herself. She thrashed wildly, but he was standing just out of range.

Looking directly at her, he stuck a finger in his mouth and pulled back his right cheek. Then the left.

"What?"

The key rings hit the floor with a click!. She sat at the center, pointing.

"How did you? You - your -" she couldn't finish the question.

The cuts on his arms had already stopped bleeding.

Inside, the wounds were gone.

As though he had never been cut at all.


	3. Olette Shadow Part 3

It happened during Spring Break.

Roxas met a nobody.

Or, more accurately, he had met a Nobody.

He_ became_ a Nobody.

In a time when the world was obsessed with obtaining and keeping knowledge, when magic and technology had only recently been successfully integrated thanks to millions of hours of studies and research and experiments, Roxas was attacked by a monster that did not exist, that sundered information, consumed it, devoured it, made it a part of itself.

It was a beautiful monster, if he remembered correctly.

_If._

Even two months after the encounter, scars lingered. Not physical scars, though. He highly doubted that he would ever have to worry about long-term injury in the foreseeable future.

No.

The scars ran deeper than his skin, deep down inside his memory, disfiguring it. They were healing, he was sure, but slowly. He had forgotten so much and recovered so little. He still had no idea what the Nobody had taken, or how much.

The gaps turned up unexpectedly, like pebbles in his shoes after a trip to the beach. For about a week afterwards he had been like a zombie. Studying for his midterms, he realized that he had retained only a quarter of what he remembered learning. Simple facts and figures from the months before the attack escaped him. When meeting strangers, he was unsure of whether to introduce himself or to act like he knew them. He forgot birthdays, faces, names. At times, it was as though he could sense the gap like a missing puzzle piece, but this helped him little.

Sometimes he wished he could have run into another monster instead, like a gigas or a tonberry. He probably would have died, he reasoned, but if he survived, he'd still have all of his memories intact and perhaps a few physical scars with an interesting story behind them. His chances of ever seeing either a gigas or a tonberry were slim to none, but at least everybody knew that _they_ existed. He could have gotten medical attention for the stab wounds or broken bones from just about any hospital, but there was only one person he knew who could have possibly helped him return to normal.

Of course, even after he regained his humanity, there were side-effects. Any major injury he received healed within a few days at the most. Deep wounds took a few minutes-a few hours at the most-to mend themselves. Minor cuts and scrapes healed within seconds. Axel likened it to erasing a pencil mark, but they both knew it was more complicated than that.

"Axel Lea... _Mr._ Lea?"

"Yeah. Axel Lea."

"It almost sounds like a girl's name," Olette said, "like 'Axelline.'"

"I wouldn't tell that to his face if I were you. Identity is kind of a hot-button-topic to him."

"Oh. So was he made fun of for his name when he was young? Or is he on the run from the law now?"

"You shouldn't make any assumptions. It's just hard to explain. Axel is Axel. Nobody who met him would dare tease him."

She stared at him thoughtfully with her forefinger and her thumb placed on her chin.

"I think I might. If he was in our year at school. Just once."

"You obviously haven't met him then."

"Very well. Mr. Lea it is then."

"Why so formal?"

"If I call him anything else, I might slip up."

Twenty minutes away by tram, in a neighborhood of Twilight Town called the Umbra Quarter, there was a private school that stood on the very edge of town, concealed by a thick copse of trees.

Was.

While Tenebrae Heights was considered one of the best schools a few years ago, it was also constructed atop Tenbrae Ridge, from which the school got its name. One of the most precarious locations around, the ridge was in constant danger of collapsing during the spring rains, taking the building with it. Tenebrae Heights was closed down, and the students were forced to enroll at another school. By the time Roxas met Axel, the building was already in shambles. At least a third of it rested at the bottom of the hill and the portion that stood hadn't fared much better.

The trees along the path had died from lack of care, leaving a spiderweb mesh of dead branches overhead. Before Axel arrived, the school had been a local gang's hangout. The walls, floors, and anything they could reach were covered in graffiti. The floors had been littered with mystery mold tins and phials once filled with echoing drops. But, like the students and teachers and administrators before them, they moved on, and Axel was able to move in without incident. Few knew he lived there. He liked it like that. He'd risk eviction if the wrong people learned about him.

The building was dangerous. It felt dangerous in a way that Roxas couldn't quite place.

According to Axel, it still belonged to someone else.

Private property. Keep out.

The building was protected by a double-layered chain-link fence, but it was old, and they were able to slip through easily.

Tenebrae Heights stood silhouetted against the sky like a massive, crumbling mausoleum. Axel lived at the top.

"So, how are we getting up there?" Olette asked, frowning at the collapsed front door. "I hope you have a plan."

"You said you can jump, right?"

"And did you intend on getting a piggyback ride, or do you expect me to meet Mr. Lea by myself?" She was looking at him out of the corner of her eye, tilting her head slightly. Her eyes gleamed dangerously.

"I was joking. There's a way in though a janitor's entrance in the back."

"Shouldn't you be nicer to me? You did knock me down, after all."

"Well, you cut me into pieces, so we're even."

She smiled. "When you say it like that, I wonder if what Hayner said was true."

Roxas was stunned. _How long was she listening at the door?_

"At any rate, Roxas, let's get this over with as quickly as possible. I don't want people getting the wrong idea about us."

_Is this her version of a date?_

"You really don't understand this at all, do you?"

"And you're saying that you understand perfectly?" She didn't elaborate further.

They moved silently, slipping past dying hedges and climbing over fallen pillars. Despite the fifty or so pounds of charms in her book bag, Olette was easily able to keep up.

"Do you really keep everything in that bag?"

"You didn't ask if I keep anything in my locker? Maybe you've been stalking me as well, Roxas."

"Don't lump me in with him."

"It was a compliment. You're a much better stalker than Hayner will ever be."

He groaned. She smiled.

"Well, since it won't make much difference, I'll tell you. Yes: I do keep everything in here. I don't use a locker, and I don't own a backpack. It's not much; just my textbooks, paper, pens, pencils, munny-purse, novels, makeup, and my charm collection of course..."

"_Just?_"

"...And some other things. It's handy. If I'm attacked by someone, I can just reach in and slide it off."

"You mean if you attack someone."

_Was she like this all the time before yesterday? She's really on edge. _

"Would you recommend having me pay for a hitman instead? I can rely on myself perfectly fine."

"Don't be like that."

"What's wrong? Paying for a bodyguard is a viable self-protection strategy."

_I guess_, thought Roxas. He thought about times when a bodyguard might have come in handy, but then he thought about her apparent pride in being alone.

"Ah. Here we are."

The entrance was a small iron door, almost completely buried beneath a lean-to of bricks and rusty girders. Though it was closed tightly, the ground in front of it was scraped into a quarter circle, where it had been opened before. Roxas was about to tug it open when he remembered her charms.

"May I take your... uh... weapons?"

"What? No." She pushed the book bag behind her protectively.

"Actually, what I meant was 'May I hold your weapons while we visit Axel?'"

"The answer is still no."

He understood how she must have felt. Although she was a holy terror with her bag close at hand, she probably couldn't do much without her charms or her knife. Relying on herself was a full-time job, after all.

"Axel isn't what you'd consider 'proper,' but he saved my life. It'd be rude of me to bring someone dangerous to his home."

"You could have told me this before we took that tram ride. Maybe Mr. Lea would have agreed to meet at a cafe instead."

"He'd never accept it. He doesn't drink coffee and he wouldn't be able to help you in an unprepared space."

"An 'unprepared space...'" She looked past him at the iron door, then up towards the top floor, as though searching for something. She gripped the strap on her shoulder uneasily.

Roxas sighed. Maybe trying to bring her to Axel was a waste of time. She seemed reluctant to enter the building, as though she was afraid. Why was that? She seemed fearless enough when she had attacked him at the school, but she had already been standing there for about a minute without saying a word.

"I think the trams are still running-"

"Alright. Let's go." She strode confidently towards the door and started to tug it open. She was stronger than he had expected.

"Wait!"

"What?"

"Your bag."

She gave him an irritated look. It seemed she wanted to get the trip over with as soon as possible.

"Fine. Just a second." She reached into the bag. Roxas could hear the sound of buttons clicking shut.

"What are-"

"Here you go." And with that, she turned the bag upside down and dumped its contents at his feet. He was stunned. While he had expected a huge pile of keychains, and of course the chocobo-claw knife, that was only the beginning. More keychains were present, along with a large assortment of exotic knives, chains, amulets, lockets, rings, and other accessories (some of which visibly pulsed with magic), a struggle bat, another struggle bat with several nails embedded in it, and several other particularly nasty-looking objects. He was afraid to pick half of the object up, let alone stuff them into his backpack.

"Forgive me for not giving you all of it. I didn't want to risk damaging any of my school supplies."

"There's _more_?"

"Well of course there's more, Roxas. Call it an insurance policy if you like. But if you're trying to trick me in order to pay me back for this afternoon, I'll warn you in advance that it isn't worth it."

"You can trust me."

"That's good, Roxas. Because if I can't, things won't be pleasant for your friends or your family."

"You can trust me."

She looked at the darkness beyond the door. "Are you sure?"

"Have I given you any reason not to trust me?"

_How dare you threaten them._

He wouldn't have put it past her at this point, though.

"You have two younger stepsisters, right?" She said it with a smile, just daring him to deny it.

He had no answer.

He did. They were both freshmen. How did she know? She really did have it all planned out. Had she known before the incident on the stairs, or had she simply done her research after she got home from school? What about the period between the first and the second attacks?

Where did she get the information from?

"Nothing will happen."

She was just trying to psyche him out, he told himself. Learning that he had stepsisters would have been easy enough. Even if she only knew that his mom got remarried, she could have made a wild guess. The logic behind the threat was simple, too: she couldn't inflict any lasting physical damage on _him_, but the people around him were a different story.

But he couldn't back down. If he did, it might have left her even more suspicious.

She wrenched the door open and they slipped inside.

* * *

"This way." Some portions of the building were so dark that he led her by the hand. She accepted reluctantly.

Because so much of the building had collapsed, they wove their way across each floor, searching for a way up.

"I told you earlier that most of my emotions were taken from me. Among them were my happiness, my compassion, and my mercifulness." She gripped his hand tighter in the dark. "I don't have a shred of mercy, and I don't have a lot of regret, but I can choose to be merciful, even if it means nothing to me. I felt that I was doing the right thing, given the circumstances. I didn't want to hurt you too badly."

"Are you seriously asking me to thank you for cutting the inside of my mouth instead of the outside? What if you had pierced my cheek?"

"I was drawing them out, so I had a feeling that I wouldn't."

"I still don't see why I should be grateful. Looks like all your anger was wasted on me, though."

"Don't worry, Roxas. I have anger to spare."

What did she mean by _that_?

They were above the front entrance now, four stories above the ground. The only route up was a dented rain gutter nailed into the crumbling bricks.

"You go first," said Olette.

"No. You go. You're lighter, and if I fall, I'll take you down with me. I can get up from that sort of landing, but..."

"I've told you that you're a gentleman, right?" She smiled mockingly, but started climbing. The rain gutter barely shifted at all beneath her weight. Roxas followed behind, every movement causing it to creak beneath him.

"It sure is a long ways up!" she commented. "Tell me, Roxas; is immortality something I should try out?"

_Of course she's trying to freak me out by calling attention to it,_ he thought. _What kind of person does this sort of thing?_

"If you're lucky enough to become that way, that's good for you. If not, you'll survive."

"So that's a no then?" She was looking down on him now, grabbing the rain-gutter with one hand and stabilizing herself with a leg. Preventing him from climbing further. It occurred to him that she could have probably jumped the remaining fifteen feet to the top floor. He did his best to ignore the gutter banging against the wall.

"It's not as simple as you think. I'm not completely immortal and it comes with a price."

"Well, what's the price? It's not like you turn into a flan when the moon is full or anything like that, right?"

"I'm not telling. You might think it's worth it. Besides, the moon is full now."

"Very well, Roxas."

They reached the top floor, climbing in through an open window. Axel's room was within sight at the other side of the building. The doors were dark and windowless. They were shut.

"C''mon." Roxas said, walking slowly. Only a few shafts of light illuminated this hallway, revealing a straight corridor with no accessible doors but one.

It was at the very end of the hall.

It was like walking into the final room of a dungeon in a video game, or the villain's secret hideout in a movie. Axel had chosen this room specifically. He could be fairly dramatic.

"Roxas, I have something else to say." Her eyes were locked on the door.

"Go for it. You haven't held back before."

"Is Mr. Lea behind that door?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I should remind you that if you're even considering doing something uncouth to me, I'll promise that you'll regret it for as long as you live."

"Really? How so?"

"Does the phrase 'Sin Harvest' mean anything to you?"

It didn't.

_Is that supposed to be a reference to a slasher film? Or a survival horror game?_

_If so, that's the third video game reference she's made in an hour. _

_She doesn't look like a gamer._

"You seem like insecure person."

"You're imagining it. I can take care of myself, after all. However, I'd like it better if I was meeting Mr. Lea on neutral territory."

"He can be an odd person sometimes, but he's still a good guy. He helped me, after all."

"That doesn't prove anything. Does he even know we're coming? You never used a cell."

"He doesn't have a phone. Besides, there's no service out here. He was already expecting me."

"He sounds pretty secretive, hiding out here. Dealing with problems like mine, he must be involved in some shady business."

"Maybe. 'Underground' would be a better way to describe it. It would be disrespectful of me to pry, though. A person's identity-even someone's private identity-is like a sacred cow to him. Besides, I'd be sunk without him, considering all the messes I've gotten myself into."

"I see."

The fifth floor.

Compared to the rest of the building, the corridor was relatively unscathed. Despite this, the double doors were as difficult to open as the janitor's entrance.

"And you're _sure_ that Mr. Lea is here?" Olette asked. Roxas could hear the edge returning to her voice. He tugged harder.

"Yeah. He just shuts the door whenever he comes and goes."

"And you said that he's in? If he was, wouldn't he be helping us with the door?"

He was aware how close behind him she stood.

His backpack was easily within her reach.

"Before he moved in, a gang used to hang out here. He could probably handle it himself, but opening the door for them is a good way to get stabbed. But don't worry. He's in there. I promise."

"I hope so. For your sake."

_And now I'm in a hostage situation. Great._

He hauled both doors as wide as they would swing, but the room remained nearly pitch black, the only light coming from the full moon rising behind a broken window.

Peering inside, Olette gave him a shove. "You first."

"Scared?"

"No. _Suspicious_."

"Having woman problems, Roxas?" a smooth, mocking voice inside the room asked. Olette jumped. A figure stood up on the other side of the room, silhouetted against the window.

Axel Lea was there.

With a snap of his fingers a dozen halogen lights hummed to life above him, revealing the room and himself.

Olette stared with a mixture of astonishment and fear. Roxas didn't blame her. Perhaps it was his mane of long red hair, or the markings above and below his eyes that made them look almost catlike, or the way he seemed to move almost too smoothly, or a combination of the three, but Axel was a man who, upon first glance, could be most accurately described as "feral."

He was sitting hunched, propping his head up with his elbow as though he was bored, on an office desk that he had made into a makeshift bed. This room, compared to the disaster area behind them, was practically immaculate in comparison. To Roxas and Olette's right stood a small table with an electric cooking stove on it, powered by thunder shards. It was currently turned off, but a small teapot and three cups of hot tea sat on the table. Next to the table was a small bookshelf filled with books and magazines and folders of varying sizes and conditions. On their left, about a dozen lockers had been placed on their sides to create a series of drawers and shelves, where Axel kept his clothes, money, and anything else he deemed "important." The only "important" object not inside the lockers was a small cactus set near a propped-open window. Three more lockers stood upright nearby. Each was padlocked and contained things deemed "significantly important." At the center of the room, aligned with the window, was the bed. It was actually two office desks scavenged from elsewhere in the building with a mattress and sheets brought from somewhere outside the school. Beneath it was a safe, about five feet cubed, facing upwards from a five-foot-cubed hole carved into the ground. "Extremely important" things went into the safe.

To Axel Lea, nothing was insignificant.

Olette's astonishment and fear turned to wonder and repulsion. While her home was probably locked in an eternally pristine state by an army of maids and butlers, the public high school wasn't a good match. But, even so, she had seen so little of the world between her house and the school that the condition of Axel's lair in Tenebrae Heights seemed hideous by comparison.

And then there was Axel.

He wasn't at his dirtiest, but the school's water line was turned off and it hadn't rained for several days. His hair was matted and an odor of sweat and smoke and ash hung around him. His pant-legs were dirt-covered and frayed. His sandals were falling apart. And his favorite shirt - black and white silk with a flame-print pattern - was falling apart at the seams.

Roxas always thought it was a little surprising that Axel was the man who had saved him.

"Well, I've seen that you've brought somebody today. I'm happy for you, Roxas, making so many friends lately."

"You're making it sound like I'm antisocial."

"Is that a problem? "

He looked in Olette's general direction, but his eyes only rested on her for a second.

It was as though he found the walls more interesting.

Olette took the initiative. "It's a pleasure to meet you," she lied. "I'm Olette Jessel."

"Axel Lea. Got it memorized?"

A look of anger flashed across her face, but she held her tongue. She obviously recognized how important this conversation was.

"I'm in the same class as Roxas."

"'The same class as Roxas,' huh? I wonder what the difference between 'The same class as Roxas,' and 'Roxas's classmate' is." He focused his gaze on her as he said this, as though watching her reaction.

She had a wonderful pokerface.

After a deep silence, he looked at Roxas.

"Are you attracted to girls who wear orange?"

"Huh?" Roxas and Olette answered simultaneously. Olette was wearing an orange hibiscus-print shirt.

"It's just a simple question," he laughed. "Yeah, she'd probably be a natural dancer. She's halfway there." His eyes slid back to Olette.

Her brow was furrowed as she silently tried to make sense of his statement.

Another long silence.

"Well," Roxas said, "she could probably tell it better, but, about three years ago, Olette met -"

"That's the first time you've said my name in front of me, Roxas," she cut in, "_don't_."

"Then what do you want to be called?"

"Miss Jessel."

Roxas stared at her, open-mouthed.

_No way._

"Fine: Mee-ss Oo-leet Je-ssh-hell."

"That's not even close, Roxas. If you're going to be like that, you might as well pretend that I'm not here."

"That works. You see, Axel, my friend, Olette -"

She elbowed him in the gut. He doubled over.

"Where do you get off on sort of thing?"

"I can tell it myself," she said, ignoring Roxas, "but first, could you tell me what that is?" She was pointing to the left side of the room, at the space between the overturned lockers and the wall.

In that space, a young girl was curled up, facing the lockers six inches from her face. Her age was indeterminate, although she looked about as old as Roxas's sisters. She was wearing a thin, white sundress. Her hair was equally white.

Roxas wasn't sure if Olette could tell that the girl was different, or if she was just being callous. Even in Twilight Town, though, where travelers from all places came and went, there was something subtly different about this girl, especially when her eyes flashed blue in the darkness.

"Don't worry about it," said Roxas. "She won't do anything. She doesn't exist. She's nothing. A Nobody. She doesn't even have a name."

"Actually, Roxas," Axel spoke up, his voice dripping amusement, "You're right that she doesn't exist, but I named her yesterday, for kicks. Since she's staying here with me, it would be convenient for me to have something to call her by, and she'll be no use to anyone without a name."

"So what did you call her?"

"Namine Lea."

He let the echo of his voice fade before he continued.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Namine _Lea_?"

"Got it memorized? It contains a foreign word, Nami, that means 'wave.' Pretty clever if I do say so myself. After all, it's important to have opposites in you life, right Roxas? It also has a nice ring to it, don't you think? I do."

"Does it matter?"

"Well, I tried out a few names, but it seems like she responds best to 'Namine.' I would have preferred something with a more obvious meaning, but if we're both satisfied, I have no reason to complain."

"You still haven't told me _what_ that child is," said Olette.

"Yes I did," Roxas said. "She's a Nobody."

A Nobody.

The shell of a beautiful monster.

The remnants of the monster that ruined his life.

"All right, I'll accept 'nobody'. But, more importantly," she met Axel's gaze.

"Can you cure me, Mr. Lea?"

A smile. "Can I cure you?" He repeated the question slowly, letting each syllable roll off his tongue.

She hung tensely on his every word.

The smile widened.

"No. I can't cure you."

She inhaled sharply.

"But Axel -"

Axel raised a hand. "Roxas? Shut up."

He cleared his throat. "I can't cure you, Miss Jessel. Only you can do that for yourself."

The lights hummed softly above them.

Olette narrowed her eyes.

"Ever since this happened to me, I've met six others who claimed that they could help. All of them were conmen, and you remind me of all of them. I'll ask you again, Mr. Lea: can you help me?"

She was staring daggers at him. Roxas recognized the look very well. Axel was smiling viciously. Roxas knew that look, too.

"Well, Miss Jessel. You certainly seem riled up for someone half empty. Now memorize this: I'm no conman. I'll help you out, but I can't save you if you don't want to be saved." He hopped off the bed, walked over to the table, and took a sip of tea.

"Do you _want_ to be saved, Miss Jessel?"

"I don't need saving. I just need you to fix me."

He smirked. "We'll see, Miss Jessel."

"Why do I need saving, Mr. Lea? Tell me."

He smiled and took another sip.

"No."

She glared.

He smiled slyly.

You could have heard a pin drop.

"Hey, Axel," said Roxas, "maybe you should -"

"Stay out of this Roxas."

She twitched her wrist. A chain clicked.

A particularly sharp keychain in the shape of a golden crown dangled from her hand.

Roxas backed off, glancing at the man sipping tea.

His eyes were wide with excitement. His tight-lipped smile stretched from ear to ear.

"Hey, Axel -"

"Unless you're confident that you won't die, Roxas, I'd stay quiet if I were you."

"Like I'd really be afraid of -"

She rattled the chain again.

He stepped back.

_What a waste of time, _thought Roxas.

They stood there for another minute before Axel yawned.

"As much as I'd like to keep this staring contest going, there's business to take care of. You'll learn everything in due time, but only if you tell me what happened. I'm not a mind reader. I can tell a great deal just by looking at you. I can tell that you're missing half of your emotions, and it's just _eating_ you up inside. I can tell you've lost your joy and your ambition and your shame, but not your anger. I can tell that you've lost your weight and your regard for others, but not your fear. Yeah, I can tell that by the way you walk. You've got near absolute freedom, but you're afraid of flying off into space. I can tell all that, but I can't cure you - fix you, save you, whatever - until you tell me a story. Your story: _how_ it happened to you, is even more important than _what_ happened to you. But unless you tell me what's wrong, there's not a damn thing I can do for you."

She gaped at him, lost for words.

"Got it memorized, Miss Jessel?"

He smiled and finished his tea.

Her head dropped.

She was staring at his feet.

She wouldn't meet his gaze.

Roxas sighed.

"Well, Axel the way it all started was-"

"I can do it, Roxas."

She spoke up suddenly.

Her voice sounded different somehow. Softer, but forced.

"Olette..."

"I said I can do it myself."

"Whenever you're ready, Miss Jessel."

She nodded.

She sighed.

"I'll tell you."


	4. Olette Shadow Part 4

Two hours later.

Roxas and Olette reached her house, leaving Axel and the Nobody behind.

Olette's home.

A five-story mansion behind a fifteen-foot wall. A courtyard with a fountain of orichalcum-crafted chocobos spewing water. A hedge maze. A private lake. A stable and a racetrack. Twenty acres of land. A family crest above the front entrance. Silk drapes. Stained-glass windows. shatter-proof stained-glass windows. Three miles of hallways. An entire collection of abstract paintings. A two-thousand munny home-entertainment/PA system. Two kitchens and a walk-in freezer. A bath deep enough to swim in. A two-story library with shelves that stretched to the ceiling. Eleven bedrooms. On the way to Olette's room, they passed several serving moogles, all of who went on without a word or a nod. For such a large house with so many people, Roxas was surprised that it felt so empty.

Hayner's description had been a major understatement.

It was as though she could sense his astonishment. "Hayner was hiding by the guesthouse. I saw him sneaking outside and decided to... greet him."

"Some greeting."

"He was asking for it, okay?"

They passed another servant. Roxas said nothing.

She sounded as cheerful as ever, but Roxas could hear a change in her tone.

"Don't act so surprised every time we pass one. They're my stepmother's servants, not mine. My dad kept me and the house, and my mother kept everything else. She was involved with a research group that used... less than ethical research methods."

"I see."

"Do you really, Roxas?" she said dismissively, but continued.

"Most of the family funds went into buying synthesis materials and obtaining test subjects. Because they were operating 'under the radar,' my mother was a key member." She laughed bitterly. "Those idiots nearly bled us dry."

"Test subjects?"

"Yes," she said flatly, "_test subjects_. My dad was the one who filed for divorce. They separated three years ago. He recovered the money that my mother wasted, but ever since then, he's been more involved in research and development." She smiled bitterly. "He usually works late. Sometimes he's gone for days at a time. I have my own schedule, so it's no problem. I keep to myself and my stepmother and her servants leave me alone, so I guess you could say that I have free run of the house."

He noticed a dissonance in her vocabulary. She consistently referred to her dad as such. It was informal, warm, loving even, as though those qualities were attached to the man she was talking about himself. Her mother and stepmother, however, she always spoke of as such: formally, factually, and coldly. Understandably, there was no doubt some anger on Olette's part reserved specifically for her mother, and her condition most likely strained her relationship with her stepmother, but he wondered if there was any deeper connection as well.

Three years ago...

Was there something else?

"This mansion has enough supplies to last for weeks. Even if Hayner was able to climb over the wall, I could easily wait him out. No one in this house except my dad really cares if I go to school or not."

She paused.

"But it's strange - my curiosity is a neutral quality, so I can still be interested and surprised - but, one thing I've noticed is that, in here, even though my sense of comfort was taken from me along with everything else, I feel almost... _comfortable_. Or safe, I guess. It's easier for me to be angry or sad or scared, but I feel better in here. I don't care what Axelline said."

"Leaving the house is stressful, huh?"

A sarcastic smile. "You catch on so quickly, Roxas. That idiot said as much back at that dump of his though, didn't he?"

It made sense, though. At school, surrounded by others who were just dying to know what made her tic, she was probably on guard all the time, maintaining her focus and keeping her feet on the ground, so to speak. The house was like her castle, Roxas reasoned, and everything outside the castle was enemy territory.

He paused. "Does your mom's involvement have anything to do with what happened to you?"

Another pitying smile. "You're so smart, Roxas. And so blunt. But I guess it'll come out sooner or later, so I'll tell you: _yes_. Yes it does."

Though Roxas listened intently, she said nothing more.

There was obviously a connection. A strong one. The fact that she didn't want to talk about it suggested that.

But that, like the state of pseudo-comfort she felt in the mansion, made sense, too. Of course there was a connection. Perhaps, noticing that their daughter was, in a way, half the girl she used to be, Mrs. Jessel approached the research group looking for a way to fix her. If no doctor could provide an answer or a cure, perhaps a scientist would have more success.

It was a natural response.

Or maybe it wasn't.

He didn't know one way or another.

But there _was_ a connection, somehow.

Somehow.

Somehow, he was standing on the balcony outside the room of Olette Jessel, probably the most proper and secretive student in Twilight Town, smoking Red Nocturne brand cigarettes with her and coughing his lungs out.

She was doing the same.

"This is horrible! I don't know how Axelline can stand to smoke these."

"I don't think he does. The pack he gave us was full."

"And he wants us to smoke them all? What a hypocrite. If this doesn't work, I'll kill him."

Roxas nodded and coughed.

She took another drag and gagged. "Or maybe I'll kill him anyways. There has to be an easier way to do this."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"I don't know. Like, cursing or something."

"Be my guest."

"_Screw you._"

"There you go."

It was like any other night in Twilight Town. They were just a couple of teenagers hanging out on a balcony, looking out over the city, and smoking cheap cigarettes.

She exhaled another puff of smoke, reluctantly letting the night breeze blow it back in her face.

She reeked of smoke and fury and crawling, twittering darkness.

Before they had left, Axel told her to smoke some cigarettes and put on some grungy clothes. Wrinkled, stained, torn, it didn't matter as long as she felt uncomfortable. All three together were best.

There were more instructions as well.

As leaned against the stone balcony, Roxas thought about the meeting at midnight, and the man's diagnosis.

* * *

"Sounds like a neoshadow."

"What is that?" Olette asked.

"A kind of Heartless. Creatures born from the darkness in people's hearts. Normally they stay out of sight, in their own world called the Realm of Darkness, where they can watch the outside world without being seen, but every once in a while one of them surfaces." He gazed thoughtfully out the window above the lockers. "Even though there are many different varieties, they all operate in about the same way. They take people's hearts, and devour them. There's some variation in behavior between types, but overall, they act pretty much the same."

"They take people's hearts?" asked Roxas.

_Hollow._

_Empty._

_Emotionless._

_Heartless._

"That's right. They take hearts, by which I mean the center of one's being, not the organ. Actually, they'll take anything you give them, but they instinctually seek out damaged and weakened hearts. But that only applies to weak varieties of Heartless. A stronger Heartless would have attacked and eaten Miss Jessel, incorporating her entire heart into itself and destroying the rest of her in the process. It would probably return from where it came, and without any sort of being to sustain it, her body would vanish. The remains of your heart, however, would reform as a new Heartless. You'd be listed as just another mysterious disappearance, Miss Jessel, and we wouldn't be having this conversation now."

"But we _are_ speaking now, Mr. Lea. Why didn't it take my heart?"

"It did. Half of it, to be exact. The Heartless took every positive emotional quality you possess, and left you as a shell, half-filled with your worst qualities. For instance, it took every bit of your happiness." She looked surprised. He smiled. "I'm right, right? Even your happiness was taken - that is, what you can call 'true happiness.' The only time you feel even close to happy is when you have an excuse to lash out. But because all you have is fear and anger and all sorts of nasty stuff bubbling up inside you, you always feel like lashing out."

He turned from the window to her, facing her directly.

"Your life is a sham, isn't it, Miss Jessel? The polite tone you put on is just a way for you to pretend to feel. Your self-control is monstrously strong and your heart is well-guarded, I'll admit, but I can tell by your expression that, right now, you're practically seething. And you're afraid, too. Yeah, I can see it. You're afraid of being found out, or afraid of something unexpected happening, or simply afraid of what the future's going to bring. The climb up here must have been terrifying."

He nodded to himself. "Yeah. For every waking moment of your life since that evening, your life has been consumed by fear. You're afraid of attention. You go to school, true, but I imagine that you just keep doing it because playing hooky would draw more attention, and _you don't want that_." His face was inches away from her own. His smile was vicious. "Even now, you're afraid of me, aren't you? I bet you haven't gone a second without being afraid." He spat on the ground.

"That's not true!" she protested, "I do feel safe in my house."

"In your _house_?" He laughed. "You really don't understand yourself at all, talking like that."

"Maybe not, but I know what I'm saying when I say that _I'm not afraid._"

He paused, considering or pretending to consider.

"Perhaps. Perhaps you're not afraid. But all that means is that you're not afraid. Neutrality is also an option. _That's_ called 'becoming a Nobody.' Got it memorized?"

She was speechless.

"Which brings us back to your happiness. You don't have any. Not a drop. What you have instead, Miss Jessel, is _sadism_."

"Shut up."

There was no noticeable difference in her voice.

"What? I'm right, aren't I? It feels kinda good to make someone feel the way you do, I'd imagine. Besides, if it weren't for your sadism giving you at least some semblance of joy, you'd be just like a Heart-"

"_I said SHUT UP!_"

Her facade broke suddenly in a half-scream, half-sob.

A chain clicked

Roxas jumped. Axel bared his teeth in a wicked smile. Her scream echoed through the broken window, out over the dead trees.

Her face was contorted with rage, hot tears streaming down her face.

He caught the crown in his left hand, letting the points dig into it, letting the sides slice his palm, letting them draw blood. Though it was already running down his arm, he didn't let go until Olette loosened her grip.

"I hope you enjoyed that, Miss Jessel," he chuckled darkly.

She fumed in the silence, her eyes boring into Axel's.

Only when she had calmed down did Roxas dare to speak.

"So... why exactly did the Heartless show up in Twilight Town? And why didn't it take all of her heart to begin with?"

"Well, Roxas," he said as though nothing had happened, "it happened here, but it could just as easily have happened somewhere else, like the Destiny Islands along the equator or the End of the World at the North Pole. Distance and climate are nothing to the Heartless."

Roxas groaned inwardly. That didn't help at all.

"However," Axel continued, "this sort of thing isn't exactly unheard of. As Miss Jessel here probably knows, there are dozens of myths and legends from this area, back when this town was first built, that tell of a rabbit that descended from the moon to grant wishes."

"The Heartless."

"Correct. Neoshadows, to be specific." He twisted around to look behind him. "Although, it doesn't necessarily have to be a neoshadow, or even a Heartless. Some stories in other lands tell of a crab, or a woman." He glanced at Namine. "There may be some truth in all of them."

"But if she met a rabbit, it's most likely a neoshadow, like you said."

"I don't care about technicalities. All I care about is what it wants and how to find it again," said Olette. Her voice was shaking. Axel's accusations had rattled her.

"I remember saying that it wants your heart, Miss Jessel, which relates to Roxas's second question: why didn't it steal your heart away in one go? Well? Any guesses?"

Silence.

He frowned.

"The reason, Miss Jessel, is because your heart was too strong for it to simply steal. Being a weak Heartless, it couldn't have taken your heart without killing you first, which is risky in itself. So, instead, it stalked you until you showed a moment of weakness."

Olette swallowed.

"Even then, it couldn't have taken all of your heart. It only took what you offered: your weight, and your emotions."

"But I didn't ask it to take either of those!"

"Not consciously, of course. But you gave them up all the same, and the Heartless accepted ravenously. I don't know what happened that evening before you went into the woods. Perhaps someone teased you about your figure - though I can't imagine why. Perhaps someone you loved hurt you deeply, and you wanted them to feel every ounce of your pain. Perhaps that evening was the worst day of your life. It's only a theory. Though your heart was strong, the Heartless accepted what you threw away, and your heart grew weaker for it. Ever since then, it's been following you, waiting for you to let your guard down again."

"Is that so? I haven't seen anything like it since."

He giggled. "Do you really think _that_ matters?"

That silenced her.

"It's been with you this whole time. And it's brought friends."

Her eyes widened.

"You can see it?"

"They're all over, Miss Jessel. Floor, walls, ceiling. Watching. Waiting."

She looked around the room, peering for the faintest sign of the monster she had seen three years before.

"They're watching _you_."

She couldn't see anything.

Neither could Roxas.

A shiver ran up his spine.

"Straining your eyes won't help. As long as they stay in the Realm of Darkness, they're invisible to you and out of my reach."

"So... so they won't attack."

"No. Not yet. Like I said before; they're waiting for your heart to weaken again. And it will. I'm actually surprised that you've lasted for three years, but you can't keep it up forever. As soon as your guard slips; one false step, one tiny mistake, and they'll come for you, and devour your heart."

That was his point.

It didn't seem to help.

Roxas had never imagined that Olette could ever appear so afraid.

Axel noticed, too.

"You're actually pretty lucky. Roxas here was attacked, just like you. But he was attacked by a Nobody, and that's much more serious."

Roxas nodded in agreement.

He was right.

"You're in a better spot than him."

"How?"

"Because a Heartless simply eats what it is given, but never lets it go. The object remains whole inside of it, unsatisfying, unfulfilling, and unchanged, suppressed by the darkness that forms its body. But a Nobody takes from its prey and destroys it. Poof! It's gone! It's never coming back."

His smile was nicer this time, but not nice.

"You're easy compared to him."

"I'd still like to be in his shoes."

"You don't understand a thing, and yet you say 'I want to be like Roxas.' Someone tells you that you'll have to fight to ever feel happy again and you'd rather just throw it all away. Are you stupid, or just weak?" he snarled. "You should appreciate that you can still feel, that you can remember the faces and names of people around you without having to take from others. Instead of running from it, you should appreciate that self-loathing you feel at the person you are, that makes you want to become a different person. Reign it in! Grab hold of it and control it! That - not envy - is what will save you. Got it memorized?"

Roxas was worried about how Olette would react, but she simply nodded.

"Yes, Mr. Lea."

He nodded his head slightly, apparently impressed. "Well, let it never be said that you're the stupid sort. Afraid, maybe, but not stupid."

"What made you think I was?"

He shrugged. "I expected some glaring weakness. Maybe you're just average, or maybe I just haven't come across it yet. But I'd say that your behavior is what I'd expect from most people if we took away half of their heart; me, Roxas, anybody. But something drew it in. Weak Heartless won't appear to people with strong hearts. They're not the sort of thing you can just run across, unlike Nobodies. The fact is that, momentarily or otherwise, some flaw of yours drew it to you."

_'The sort of thing you can just run across.'_

_Yeah, that sounds about right._

"However, also unlike Nobodies, the Heartless operate entirely on instinct, even if some of them show signs of intelligence. They won't be reasoned with. If you want your weight and your heart back, you'll have to want them back. And you'll have to fight for it. You could be sure of _that_."

In the end, Axel couldn't help her.

There wasn't a thing Roxas could do, or even Namine.

Only she could fix herself.

"Here's a story to lighten the mood. It's a story from back east. Once upon a time, there was a young solider from a war-torn nation who had seen too much and had felt too much. He was the sole survivor of a massive battle and was returning to his village alone. One day, along the road, the soldier met a strange old wanderer. The wanderer offered him a gummi for his thoughts."

"I've heard this one before."

"No you haven't. Anyways; a gummi for his thoughts. All of them. A single gummi block. Every memory of explosions and swords flashing, every memory of people screaming, every memory of a friend dying in his arms. Every bad memory. Sell it for a gummi. The soldier accepted without a second thought and the wanderer took them. Freed himself for a gummi."

"...So?"

"What would you have done, Miss Jessel?"

"I... I think I'd try to barter with him first. Maybe I could save some memories, or at least raise the price. After that, I don't know."

"Good answer. Anyways, the soldier was happy to be rid of his memories. Why wouldn't he be, when he was free from the pain that they caused him? What could he have gained from holding onto them?"

His face grew serious.

"As he wandered, he reached his village where he was embraced with open arms. But, when asked about the war, he could not answer. Though he had been freed from his memories, he could not remember what he had forgotten, not even his training at that very village. Suspecting an impostor, the villagers threw him out and left him to beg. The soldier had thrown away his future for only a gummi block. An empty promise of escape."

He waited a moment for it to sink in.

"The soldier went looking for the old wanderer, to get his memories back. But, try as he might, no matter who he asked or where he traveled, he could not find the man, and died without his memories. The end."

Olette raised an eyebrow. "Cheery."

"No. Informative. The soldier lost his thoughts, or, - as the story also says - his memories. You lost your emotions."

"I didn't sell them."

"In this case, 'what' is more important than 'how.' The soldier sold his memories. You gave away your heart. Like him, you attained freedom. But, without what you've already given away, you can't expect to live a full life, much less a normal one. Losing your emotions is just as problematic as losing your memory. Got it memorized?"

"No. What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm done explaining," he said, finishing off the lesson with a clap of his hands. "I'll do what I can to help you. Roxas here went through the trouble to get you here, so..."

"You _will_ help me?"

"I'll do what I can, but you'll have to finish it yourself." He glanced out the window at the darkening twilight. "First, you'll have to draw the Heartless back, and for that we need bait. Get angry. Pick on Roxas. Call me names. Curse. Smoke. Drink. Go home and put on some ratty clothes, whatever you hate the most. Tear up your favorite clothes if you have to. By the time you come back here, I want you good and furious." He looked meaningfully at the blood-wet crown in his palm. "Shouldn't be too hard. Roxas will help, right Roxas?"

"Umm, right!"

_I'm going to die._

"Well, with that out of the way, I have only one more question to ask: as one of the top students in Twilight Town, are you, Miss Jessel, allowed out at night?"

"Yes."

"Excellent. Come back at midnight."

"Okay. But, why are you having me do these things?"

"Like I said: bait. The Heartless are following you, but we need to draw them where we can see them. And because of current circumstances, they'll pay attention to you, and you alone. I'm too guarded, Roxas is barely a blip on their radar, and Namine isn't even an option. Dark emotions weaken hearts and draw them out, but since you're just a _bundle_ of dark emotions now, we need to step it up. You need to let your guard down, and for that, we need to weaken you. Thus, we need you to do a few of your least favorite things."

"Fine. How much do I owe you?"

"Owe me? Does it look like I'm running a business here?" he gestured to the room around him.

"You need some form of income for thunder shards. They're not found around here often."

"You're very perceptive, aren't you, Miss Jessel? Alright. To be polite, I'll take your munny. Ten thousand munny."

"Ten thousand."

"Correct. Apply for a few odd jobs for a couple of weeks and you should be fine. Seems fair."

"That's pocket change compared to mine," said Roxas.

"Oh? I remember charging you ten thousand as well."

"You charged me a hundred thousand!"

"You were a Nobody. That's different."

"Different nothing! You said she was almost a Nobody."

"Yeah. _Almost_." He brushed the boy's complaints away. "Can you pay, Miss Jessel?"

"Yes. I can."

"Very good!"

Olette nodded numbly.

"Mr Lea?"

"Yes?"

"Has anyone ever told you how generous you are?"

He snorted. "No, Miss Jessel. Most people I meet know better than to lie to my face."

* * *

Two hours later, they were on the balcony, sitting among assorted potted hibiscuses, passing the time.

Of course she could afford ten thousand, Roxas reasoned, with a house like hers, ten thousand munny was probably pocket change. But that wasn't the answer. The price Axel had set was less about the difficulty of aiding her than demonstrating charity, which he correctly assumed would irritate Olette. He had also correctly assumed that Roxas would make a fuss, which would draw her attention to Axel's generosity and bring her one step closer to drawing in the Heartless. Roxas wondered if the man hadn't been attempting to lure the Heartless out then and there, although he wouldn't have put it past him.

He had it all planned out.

Axel had said that Olette was the lucky one, but Roxas had his doubts.

Axel never had as much fun at his expense, for example.

He had been a Nobody for about a week. She had lived half empty for three years. She'd experienced neither true emptiness, nor had she been absolutely forced to attack other people to survive, but, all the same, three years of fear, anger, and bitterness seemed like Hell to him. He remembered wanting to die, or simply stop existing from the emptiness that left him feeling paper-thin, but that was only after the worst had passed.

It was only remorse and phantom pain.

He tried to imagine living with such crushing self-loathing for three years.

He couldn't.

Though he knew what it was like to be completely and utterly emotionless, he could not imagine what Olette was feeling, being a step removed from a Heartless.

Like a Heartless, but sadistic.

Was that what Axel said? Was he simply trying to provoke her, or was there a ring of truth to his words? Roxas couldn't even begin to separate the truth from the lies.

He couldn't even begin to say if Heartless were even real.

But what if it was real?

After all, Nobodies were real, and they weren't even supposed to exist.

What would it be like, he considered as the cigarette in his hand bled smoke spirals in the night air, to be a Heartless? Functionally, they seemed close to Nobodies: both were once people with their humanity shattered into a million pieces, turned monstrous. They were merciless; Nobodies, because they had no mercy left in their entire being, and Heartless, because there was no analog for mercy in hunting instinct. But, while a Nobody could be best described as empty reason with a flicker of emotion, he imagined that a Heartless was the exact opposite: all raw emotion and instinct with a glimmer of intelligence.

Self-loathing and shame and hatred and envy and disgust and loneliness and fear and horror and gnawing hunger and murderous rage and everything else molded into a body - perhaps a body that looked like a rabbit - and trapped in its own head, with no reason to soften the blow.

What would it be like to be a creature that felt all of those things simultaneously?

A creature missing a certain spark of life?

A bundle of dark emotions.

How deep a blow had Axel struck?

How horrible was your life when even an offer to help felt like a threat?

The soldier who had lost his memory.

The heiress who had lost her emotions.

He didn't want to know.

He knew that he was better off than her.

"I don't feel miserable enough," Olette said blithely, "there has to be something else."

"You could bother one of your servants."

"That's stupid. If I did that, they'd tell my stepmother about it and I'd have to answer to her for it after tonight, even if Mr. Asshole Lea's plan works." Her tone was slightly unhinged. She sounded happier than normal.

"You could take a walk and bother some random person."

"We have to be back at midnight. We won't make it if I get arrested for assault."

"It wouldn't necessarily have to be assault, would it?"

"Depends. Would you consider throwing darts assault?"

"How about bananas?"

"What? Is that supposed to mean something to me?"

"Nothing."

"'Nothing' doesn't help me any. Think of something."

"Well, how am I supposed to know what bothers you? If you don't want to leave the balcony, you might as well strip or something." He took another drag. It was an offhand comment. An egregious suggestion. A sarcastic joke. Out-of-mouth, out-of-mind.

Only when he realized how quiet the night was did her turn to see her staring at him.

"What?"

"You know what."

"No. What?"

"You had to say it, didn't you?"

"Say what?"

"'_Strip_.'"

His face turned beet red. It had been intended as an off-color joke at worst.

_Does she really think I was serious?_

"That's not what I meant -"

"No? You definitely fooled me; you provided a reasonable argument before suggesting it. Nobody outside the property can see us. The balcony is also angled so that no one inside the house can see it, either, and I imagine that you've already guessed that none of the help will enter while we're still here. Also, from what I've said earlier, you could probably tell that exposing my body would fill me with shame, thereby increasing my tension, which is already at a dangerous level. You're smarter than I took you for, Roxas. And more devious." Roxas inched away.

She smiled alluringly, which was terrifying.

She said her tension was sky-high.

She looked the part.

Shaky hands, bloodshot eyes, skin shiny with sweat, a chunk of hair missing after she took a piece of gum from the underside of a tram seat, stuck it in her hair, and tore it out. Pants half slashed to ribbons and torn off at the knees by hand. A man's sports jacket fished from a dumpster behind a laundromat, three sizes two big. Beneath it, a turtleneck sweater transmogrified into a tank top, in danger of spontaneously unraveling.

He also noticed that her default expression had changed from a pleasant - if reserved - smile to a lopsided thing as twitchy and jittery as her hands.

The last thing he wanted was to see her naked.

_Is she doing it on purpose?_

Her left eyelid twitched.

_She's got to be doing this on purpose._

"Please don't."

"You have no right to complain. You're the one that said it."

"I didn't mean -"

"Too late!" The sports jacket hit the ground.

"Olette! Don't!"

"I'm just as ashamed about doing this as you are about watching it, Roxas," she said as she slipped off her tennis shoes, "but, if Axelline needs me good and rattled, that's what he's going to get."

_Talk about sadism!_

However it was going to turn out, Roxas knew intuitively that she was beyond convincing at this point. Face burning, he turned his back and fixed his eyes on an interesting crack in the balcony railing.

Itchy yarn sliding over skin.

Cloth falling to the floor.

_I feel so wrong! Why? Why me? _

The sound of a zipper.

_No._

_No._

_Nonononono!_

"Are you, perhaps, enjoying this more than me, Roxas? As a guest, I don't want to make you feel... _uncomfortable_." By her voice he could tell the last thing she was worried about was his comfort.

Denim sliding on the ground. Buttons clicking.

"You can turn around now, _Roxas_."

"No. I don't think I will."

"Aww, Roxas, you're going to hurt my feelings. It's not that bad." He could clearly hear her amusement.

"I'll pass."

"Humor me. Turn around. Keep your eyes closed if you like."

"Fine."

As soon as he did so, the sports coat brushed against the ground, she picked up the turtleneck, and the zipper closed.

"Don't worry, you can look now."

"Thanks."

He opened his eyes.

She dropped the clothes.

Athletic shorts.

Sports bra.

"What the hell? What are you trying to accomplish here?"

"Are you, perhaps, disappointed, Roxas? I thought I told you I don't want to do anything I'll regret when I can actually care about it. I anticipated that it would come to this. Think of it as a precautionary measure. Be happy."

"Be happy?"

"Yes. Happy. This is the closest you'll ever come to seeing me naked. Do you have anything to say?" She gave him a look that told him yes, he had _better_ have something to say.

Something.

A compliment?

But how would she take it? She clearly didn't trust him, even though her foresight had saved them both, but an insult could conceivably earn him a crown to the eye.

"Um..."

"Y-you have a great body?"

"...I wish that I was like Axel."

"Huh?"

"He said most people know better than to lie to his face."

"I wasn't lying!"

A keychain appeared in her hand.

Blue snowflake.

_Where did that come from?_

"I still wasn't lying!"

"Oh? Do you think that your own objective opinion overrides my own?"

"Yes - I mean no! I mean no!" Disagreeing would invite an attack. Agreeing would make him a liar _and_ invite an attack.

"You must not get out much if you think I have a great body. Don't worry, I won't tell Hayner."

"You should. Talk to him at least. He'd practically die if you did."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"You'd sell out your best friend for your own amusement?"

"Well, when you put it like that... yeah."

The idea seemed to amuse her.

"You're so unexpected, Roxas. Is all well in your happy little threesome?"

"Don't call it that. I'm straight."

"You are? You definitely fooled me. But you're not wriggling out of this. Answer the question. Is Hayner Biggman really your best friend?"

Why was she asking him this? He wondered. He and Hayner and Pence were best friends. There was no doubt about it. But, while Hayner was the resident fighting champ and Pence involved himself in learning about various anomalies in Twilight Town that he deemed "wonders," he had no special interests.

It would kill Hayner to learn that his best friend could kill him in a single attack. Pence would trade his right hand to know the things that Roxas had experienced and encountered. There were inklings, undercurrents, subterranean stirrings, but nothing serious. On a conscious level, at least, there was no connection between himself and Pence's wonders, and he was not a roadblock on Hayner's road to power. They hadn't realized yet, and he would try his hardest to keep it that way.

"Yeah. We're happy."

She laughed, stretching provocatively. Roxas ignored her. "If you say so. But have you considered in the last three hours that maybe you're even more screwed up than me?"

"Nobody could be more screwed up than you."

"Nobody, huh? Axelline helped you out, right?"

_Huh? What is she getting at?_

"Yeah."

"And you're cured, right?"

"More or less."

"Give me a straight answer."

"Yes. I'm cured."

"So you can say that you can trust him."

"To the ends of the earth."

"I envy your loyalty, Roxas, but my trust is nonexistent. Trusting strangers only leads to pain."

"You trust me, don't you?"

"Not yet. I'll trust you after the job's done. Think of it as your payment."

Roxas said nothing.

Six people.

All cons.

And her mother.

And, even deeper, something else.

Were those scars on her body?

"Even going to the hospital or talking to the school doctor is an exercise in willpower. Some days I just want to give up."

"Give up?"

"Yeah. Did you ever feel pain while you were a Nobody? Were you ever in danger of starving to death? I learned from a summer psychology course that humans experience pain so intensely because we attach emotional significance to it. Fear. Anger. We care about our bodies, so any damage against it is not just an assault on our physical selves, but a blow to our egos as well. But animals, not possessing emotions as complex as ours, are able to get up and around faster from apparently grievous injuries. The same thing happens when you give a hospital patient emotion-deadening drugs. The pain is still present, but it doesn't mean anything. How does being a Nobody compare, do you think? Do you feel pain? Do you hurt?"

He thought.

He honestly couldn't remember.

_Does she want to _become_ a Nobody?_

"Yes. Even as a Nobody I hurt. Badly. Nobodies aren't _completely_ emotionless, but what emotions they do have they steal from others. It's because they feed on emotions. It helps them feel, even though they aren't supposed to exist. Think of it as a glass of water with a hole in the bottom. You keep pouring stuff in, but it never fills up and it's always leaking out. Even though they're always close to empty, there's still a glimmer of emotion that they try to hold on to. But because they absorb the last emotion that their prey felt, Nobodies are forever locked in a state of fear or confusion or rage."

"And what happens if they just let it go?"

"They vanish."

She didn't seem at all surprised.

"If this doesn't work, I might like to come back as a tonberry in my next life."

It seemed like a bizarre non sequitur to Roxas, but it also made some kind of sense.

"I mean, if I'm forced to live with it, I might as well be reborn as something that's meant to live with feelings like these, right?"

They were nasty little monsters that tended to make their homes in abandoned buildings on the outskirts of town. In popular culture, tonberrys were generally thought of as an aggregation of all the negativity a living being could feel, ever, given shape, a cloak, a lantern, and a knife. The cloak was woven from all of the tonberry's devastated hopes and unrealistic expectations of becoming something other than a short, squat, sharktailed, nocturnal, bipedal, insomniac lizard, and was always three sizes too big no matter how large the tonberry itself grew. The lantern was fueled by the tonberry's eternal grudge against everything that got in its way of attaining its dreams, or got in its way in general. Because this applied to nearly everything, the tonberry had no shortage of light to pursue its quarry by. The knife was carved from rainbows and gummi blocks. Or the bones of unfortunate orphans.

Being called a tonberry was _not_ a compliment in most circles.

_Why would she want to be reborn as a tonberry? They were secretive, reclusive, territorial and violent, adjectives which... _

_...which..._

_...described Olette Jessel **perfectly**._

"I wouldn't call it being 'reborn' exactly..." he muttered to himself.

THWACK!

A tennis shoe bounced off of his head.

"I won't tolerate such insensitivity from you, Roxas. Next time it'll be a keychain."

_Wasn't she the one that brought it up?_

Lost for words, he checked his watch.

It was too dark to see.

Looking up, he attempted to tell the time by the position of the moon and stars.

...

_Yep, that's definitely a full moon._

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to tell the time."

"Stop before you hurt yourself. You're not a wanderer, Roxas. You're not even a soldier." She lit another cig. "What does the moon mean to you?"

"It means a lot of things."

"Like?"

"Like... we have light to see by."

A tongue of smoke rolled languidly from her open mouth.

"The balcony is in shadow."

"We can see on the return trip."

"The inside of the school is in total darkness."

"Nine-tenths isn't that bad."

"It's precisely seven-and-a-half tenths."

_It is? Who's counting?_

Having absolutely no idea how to respond, he didn't.

Olette put one arm behind her head, then another.

Victory stretch.

"Do you have to show off like that?"

"I don't have anything to show off. Even you should be able to see that."

"You don't act like it."

"I'm just stretching. I feel more free when I don't have to wear so many clothes. For example: one evening, out of curiosity, I simply pushed off the floor of the shower and floated down. It took me thirty seconds."

She smiled at him, letting the image soak in.

"You're just all kinds of provocative, aren't you?"

"No. Just factual. You're the one twisting my words around, Roxas."

She stretched again for his benefit.

Were those scars running up her stomach, or simply shadows?

And, if they were scars, how did she get them?

Three scars, running parallel to each other.

Like claw marks.

An accident?

Intentional?

Tonberry attack?

Heartless?

Mother?

"Does it really look like a rabbit?"

"Hmm?"

"The Heartless. Did it look like a rabbit?"

"Would I have called it a rabbit if it didn't? Really, Roxas, your lack of consideration is astounding."

"Sorry I asked."

"I wonder what it tastes like."

"My lack of consideration?"

"No. I can already tell that it'd be too bland for me. I was talking about the rabbit."

"You mean the Heartless."

"Whatever."

She flicked the lighter. Her smile was all teeth.

"After three years of being eaten up inside like this, I think I'd like to return the favor."


	5. Olette Shadow Part 5

At night, the only light around Tenebrae Heights was the distant light of the town and the stars above.

The inside of the school was so dark that it might as well have been in another world entirely.

It was just another part of the town, though. It was as much a part of the town as the Sunset Station or the clock tower or the underground or any other part of the town. The location, the structure, the mood; everything was a natural part of the town, as though it was meant to be that way. The building was always dark, the sun rose and set just beyond the horizon, and the world kept turning. It was the way of the world. But Axel, who wandered the world before arriving at Twilight Town, said that such purpose was only an illusion.

_It must be nice to see through everything so easily_, thought Roxas.

It was just after midnight when they arrived.

Fashionably - or spitefully - late.

Axel was waiting by the janitor's entrance.

"Hello there, Roxas, Miss Jessel."

At the sight of him, Olette's tightened her grip on Roxas's hand.

He was wearing an immaculate white laboratory coat and black slacks that contrasted with his red lion's mane. It looked more respectable, but it didn't suit him at all.

Clothes make the man.

Why was Olette so tense?

"Axel, why are you wearing a doctor's coat?"

"I got it back when I was studying to become a bio-arcanologist. Read the materials, attended the classes, took the tests, never got a job. It just got boring, really."

"Then pray tell, Axelline, why you decided to dredge up such a boring memory?"

"I thought I'd dress for the occasion myself. Survivors of Heartless attacks are so rare, really. It's best to study them whenever they appear. Procedure is especially important. When I fought Roxas, I had to keep myself calm and collected to prevent his Nobody side feeding off of my emotions. I imagine I'll be doing something similar tonight, although I haven't run across too many Heartless before. It'll be a learning experience for both of us, won't it, Miss Jessel?"

She inhaled sharply. Roxas was suddenly reminded how Axel said she would be "bait."

"You look like you're having a rough night. I'll bet you're good an shaken up by now. You agree?"

"I've felt better. Much better."

"Ha! Good answer! You look a bit roughed up yourself, Roxas. Did Miss Jessel treat you okay?"

"Shut up."

"Also good! We can take our time. I prepared a space upstairs."

"A space?"

"Yeah, Miss Jessel. A special space. Follow me."

He pivoted and was swallowed up instantly, as though he had vanished into thin air. Holding her hand, Roxas led Olette into the darkness once more.

"We can take our time?'" said Roxas, "I thought you were implying that this was urgent."

"Doesn't mean we have to rush. After all, we have to be thorough. Tomorrow's Monday, but Miss Jessel seems like a bright enough student to work around sleep loss, and it's not like a single missed day is going to make any difference in _your_ grades, Roxas."

"I'm just anxious to fight this thing."

"Violence never solved anything - on its own, at least." His voice cut through the darkness like a scalpel. "There'll be fighting, but it won't be like you and Namine, or me and you. The battle before us requires precision and a cool head. We'll be fighting all of the Heartless that have been following Miss Jessel, but only one of them will have what we need. Got it memorized?"

"So I'm going to need Namine..."

"Bingo. Just bleed off some of that excess chivalry of yours, all that righteous anger and your hero-complex, and you'll be of some use tonight."

"Gee. Thanks."

"Namine will help you, but not too much. The last thing we need is you killing the Heartless and taking Miss Jessel's emotions with it. Even if it is her own fault for losing them in the first place, she doesn't deserve that."

He couldn't tell for sure in the dark, but Olette didn't seem to react. Either Axel's jabs were beyond her now, or there was a ring of truth to his words.

"But you need to be careful. Our goal is not to exterminate the Heartless, but getting back what Miss Jessel lost. We can't land the final blow, you see. She has to do it herself."

"Will it work though? What about it makes it so that we can't get what she lost for her?"

"She's got to want it back, and the best way to prove that is by fighting for it."

"Okay. How do I tell which one has my heart?"

"I'll take care of that. They all look the same to most people, but I can see through that. Roxas'll have some help, too. Of course, they see us as just the opposite. They can all see our hearts. Even now. Physical traits: age, gender, weight, build - those don't matter. They differentiate us by our hearts. Are they open or guarded? Strong or weak? Whole or wounded or empty? They can see every aspect of their prey's heart and act accordingly. On the surface, we all look the same."

The same.

Identical in all but heart.

"They've been following you since that day in the woods, like I said. Fortunately, they haven't come for you prematurely - you'd know if they did. Your heart is still too guarded for them to reach you yet."

They reached the third floor and wandered down a twisting, half-collapsed hallway. Though it was pitch-dark like the rest of the building, Axel easily found a door, and a yellow glow flooded the corridor.

"Watch your step."

The room was bare, save for two dozen or so candles lining the wall, dripping wax on the linoleum. They did little to illuminate the gaping holes in the ceiling, but there was enough light to see by.

"It'll be easier to draw the Heartless out in here once the lights are off. Less property damage, too."

"Funny how you can make jokes at a time like this, Axel."

"Well, whatcha gonna do? It's mostly for my benefit. _Someone_ has to keep a clear head when the shit hits the fan."

"Huh?"

"You still can't see them, Roxas? We're surrounded."

Roxas believed him.

The atmosphere was oppressive, as though a thousand eyes were on them, watching from the shadows. Now that Axel had called attention to it, Roxas felt instinctually that moving too quickly was a bad idea.

Something stirred in a far corner of the room.

White hair.

Blue eyes.

Namine.

"Um, Axel?"

"Yeah, Roxas?"

"I was just thinking... if Namine's here to give me some of my powers back, what if I remember too much? If I become a Nobody again, I'll be a danger to you and Olette."

"Then we'll deal with you the same as last time. Miss Jessel will just have to stand out of our way and keep her mended heart safe, won't you? Besides, Roxas, we need you. Your job is to protect Miss Jessel while I hunt down the Heartless that she met. Namine's going to give you something to remember - your swords, perhaps - she's not going to take anything away if she can help it or make you remember too much. But, if you forget everything else, remember to _protect Olette with your life_."

"Of course."

"Well, what else do you think your immortality is for?"

_But I'm not immortal anymore._

"I don't need protecting," Olette protested, "I can fight, too."

"You really don't know what you're dealing with, Miss Jessel. The only way to fight the Heartless is with your heart, and your heart won't be in any condition to fight if you're going to be bait. Unless your keychains mean something to you beyond practicality, you'll have to sit this one out."

She narrowed her eyes but said nothing.

"Will Namine be fighting, too?"

"No. She'll help you remember what you have to, and then stay out of it. She's got loads of self-control, but she won't be particularly helpful in this battle, and I'm afraid that so much raw emotion would be too much for any pure Nobody to resist after a taste. Even her."

He took a flask out of a pocket and handed it to Olette.

"Here. Take a swig of this."

"But I'm underage."

"Standards, huh?" He laughed. "You don't have to drink it all. Actually, please don't. Just take a swallow. Even a tiny amount of alcohol lowers your inhibition. Makes it easier for all the bad stuff to slip out."

She took the bottle, staring at the rim as though it was the barrel of a gun, but she took a drink anyways. She retched but kept it down. Axel took the bottle back with a teasing smile.

"Now, how about a Q&A?"

"Is this part of the ritual?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna ask you some questions, and you're gonna answer them, and when you're done all the lights are going to go out. It's very important that you answer them. Focus on the question. Let your guard down. It'll make things a whole lot easier for all of us."

This was easier said than done.

Axel's clothes, the way he looked at her, the candles and their shadows, Namine lurking, her eyes glowing, the darkness above...

No matter what he said, everything was calculated to set her on edge.

She didn't trust him. He didn't need her to. All he needed was to disturb her enough that she would be forced to let her guard down, or to bypass her guard completely.

Only she could summon her Heartless.

Only she could save herself.

Though the air was dead, the candles wavered.

They didn't go out.

"Focused?"

"Yes."

"Let's begin. Answer everything. What's your name?"

"Olette Jessel."

"Your school?"

"Twilight Town Central High."

"Your birthday?"

There was no rhyme or reason to his questions. It was as though he was reading off of a form.

Question after question.

Droning in the quiet.

Between his questions and her answers, Roxas could hear the candlewicks sizzling.

"A mistake you made as a child?"

"I tried to grow gold roses by watering them with elixirs, but they died."

"An old song you like?"

"I don't like any music."

"How did you feel when you graduated elementary school?"

"I can't remember."

"When you had your first crush?"

"I don't want to remember."

"What is the most painful moment," Axel asked, without a hint of emotion, "in your life."

She raised her eyes and opened her mouth.

No response.

Her gaze fell to the floor.

She failed to answer.

The candles flickered again.

Everything else - her parents' full names, her mother's maiden name, their address and the bank they used, the hopes and dreams she had lost - they were all meaningless compared to this question.

"The most painful thing you can remember. That's the question. Got it memorized?"

"When..."

She didn't want to say it.

But she had to.

She was the only one that could.

There was no one else who could release the Heartless.

"My mother..."

"Go on."

"Funded an experiment."

She had told Roxas earlier, but not Axel. Though the man's expression was blank, Roxas knew that he was focusing intently.

Was this her worst memory?

Worse than meeting the neoshadow?

Of course it was.

She had no reason to lie.

But...

_But is there a connection?_

_Three years ago..._

"Is there more?"

"...what?"

"There's got to be more. There are hundreds of underground experiments conducted for the benefit of humanity. The majority of them are either impractical or don't have the funding. Nothing inherently shady about them."

She breathed deeply, trying to stay calm.

"I know there's more. Tell me about it."

"Mr. Lea. The g-group my mother funded. They tricked her."

"Why did she fund them?"

"I don't know."

"What happened?"

She calmed herself again. Her hands were shaking.

"They needed more money. My mother had given them... everything."

A pause.

"They needed more equipment. More materials. More... test subjects."

She swallowed.

"One day, when my dad was out, she brought s-some of them over."

"Some of the scientists. What happened next?"

"They said they needed a subject."

"A subject?"

"They said they had to... had to examine me." Her voice was a whisper. "They brought me down to the basement. My m-mother led the way."

Her breath rattled.

"They tried to cut me open."

"Where?"

"My heart. They tried to get to my heart."

"I see," Axel nodded. "Was there any reason they would try to examine your heart?"

"No. It was an excuse. It... it was a desperate attempt to get results. They said they were trying to research people's hearts, but they didn't even attempt to correct him. The man who cut me... he didn't know my heart from my stomach."

The scars.

That explained them.

That explained why Olette was so secretive.

So defensive.

So angry.

Her reaction to seeing Axel in his lab coat.

He must have looked just like one of them.

"And what did that accomplish?"

"Nothing. I don't know what they were studying. They were all deluded. Every-every last one of them. I could have died down there."

"But you didn't," he said quietly, "How is that?"

"The man who cut me. I kicked him and slipped off the table. Before I did, he cut me twice more, but I was able to escape."

"And you were safe?"

"I would have bled to death if I my father hadn't given me a cure ring before he left. But I healed myself... and then I went for a walk ..."

_The woods. _

_The Heartless._

"And then you were safe?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"But my mother... my mother didn't help me."

She stood and watched.

"She yelled at me. She told me to come back. Because I ran away, they couldn't... they couldn't..."

"...examine you?"

She swallowed again and nodded.

"What happened then?"

"The group disappeared. But she defended them. She kept sending them money. She nearly ruined us."

"Where is she now?"

"She disappeared, too."

"You must know."

"No," she said, gripping something tightly in her pocket, "I don't."

"That hurts?"

"Yes."

"Why? She's not your mother anymore."

"But... but she was..."

To know that her own birth mother could be cruel enough to stand by and watch her daughter be dissected, it must have torn her apart.

"Are you sad?"

"Yes. Very."

"Are you angry?"

Olette nodded.

"Did she know that?"

"No. Not like I wanted her to."

"Then... all of your anger was meant for her. You gave up your weight and your happy memories to escape from her, and you kept all of your anger to strike back. That's right, isn't it? All your fear and your loathing and your fury: they're all because of her, aren't they?"

"Because of her...?"

"Yeah. They are. Isn't that right?"

She didn't respond. She was staring off into space.

"Yeah. That's right. They are because of her. But you shouldn't run from your emotions or try to hide them. To feel like that is to be _alive_, Miss Jessel! Got it memorized?"

Still no answer.

Her eyes were blank as though she couldn't believe that she had told him, didn't want to believe.

"I'll take that as a yes. But pay attention: I'm about to make you feel even more alive."

That got her attention.

"I've actually got a confession to make, Miss Jessel. I can't save you. I can't even help you by your terms."

She gaped at him.

"Yeah. I saw from the moment you entered the room earlier tonight that there was nothing I could do. So I decided to not let a good moneymaking opportunity go to waste. Thunder shards don't grow on trees, after all. You guarded your heart but you threw away your identity, which is just as important. Just ask Roxas here."

She gasped.

"Axel! Why are you doing this?" He'd meant what he said to Olette about Axel's beliefs. To think that he - who had always been mindful and protective of people's identities as long as Roxas had known him - would intentionally ruin someone's life was unthinkable.

In the darkness behind Axel, Namine's eyes flashed. If he could just reach her for a moment...

"Shut up, Roxas. And don't even think about trying to fight me. I kicked your ass once and I'll do it again if I have to. You haven't got a chance even if you do get Namine to help."

"R-Roxas..."

Olette's entire body was shaking as she turned to look at him.

"Roxas didn't know a thing. Why would he? I've been able to help everyone else, so there wasn't any reason for him to think otherwise. But I'm not one to let a good opportunity go to waste, so I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone. Teach you a lesson, get me some money, we both win. Since you threw away your secrets so carelessly, maybe you'll be more careful with a new identity. Your father rebuilt his company after your mother left. He can do it again after I'm done with him."

"Y-you... you're a con man, too?"

"It sounds bad when you put it that way. Think of me as an opportunist. I do what I have to do to get ahead, and you told me what I need to take what I want. Got it memorized?"

"No..." The word slipped from her mouth like a breath.

"Yes, Miss Jessel."

"No."

"Yes. Your life is about to change, Miss Jessel, and when it does, you're going to feel very, _very_ alive."

"LIKE I'D LET YOU DO THAT TO US!" she snarled, her face twisted with anger, her eyes wild with fear.

She leaped.

The gold crown was in her hand again, whirling as she swung it at his head. He tilted his head back and dodged the first strike, sidestepped the second as she landed. He smiled wickedly as he rammed his palm into her stomach.

"Reflega!"

A transparent blue dome flashed around him and broke, hurling her back. Roxas caught her, letting her slam into him. She crumpled to the ground, sobbing.

He swept a hand through his hair before continuing.

"There's nothing you can do, Miss Jessel. You made a mistake, and now you'll just have to live with it."

She lay on the floor, quivering.

"That's enough." Roxas stepped between them. "I brought her here to see if you could fix her, not pull something like this. I don't know what you're doing, Axel, but it isn't like-"

Before he could react, Axel crossed the room, grabbed his head, and smashed him into the ground. Roxas tried to rise, but Axel's foot was already on his chest.

"'It isn't like me?' Is that what you were going to say, Roxas?" He laughed. "Lemme tell you something: talk is cheap. Thought is cheap. Your actions define you. Whatever you do, that's who you are. And this-" a ball of fire appeared in his hand, "_this_ is what I'm doing."

The flame filled Roxas's vision as Axel brought it lower, towards his face.

"_Got it memorized?_"

"Axel! Don't!"

Axel didn't respond.

The flame came closer.

Roxas gritted his teeth.

The room was silent.

Something moved in the ceiling panels.

"They're here."

The flame burned out in an instant. As though nothing had happened, Axel stepped off of Roxas's chest and hauled him roughly to his feet. Olette was curled up against the wall, shaking.

Roxas knelt down beside her.

She didn't react. It was like she was dead to the world.

He turned to keep an eye on the man in the doctor's coat.

Axel was already on guard, standing at the center of the room. But there was nobody there; only candles and shadows and a ceiling full of holes...

_What the __hell? _

_What the hell is he_ _doing?_

Something in the ceiling moved again. Once more. Twice. Soon, all of the ceiling panels were rattling like raindrops on a tin roof. The candles flickered violently, but the air was as dead as ever.

Axel was pacing like a lion in a pit. He seemed uncharacteristically nervous. He wasn't smiling and his brow was furrowed as he yelled over the din for Namine to help Roxas.

Olette was saying something. She said it softly, too softly to hear over the rattling, and Roxas leaned in to listen.

It sounded like "I'm sorry."

He asked her what she meant, but that was all interrupted when he felt Namine's fingers latch onto his scalp and the memories flooded back and the scrabbling above grew even louder and the candles flickered once more before plunging the room into absolute darkness.

There was the sound of bodies jostling against each other and insectile clicks from all around.

There was not a glimmer of light.

Roxas remembered the weight of sheaths hanging from his waist and hilts in his hands.

Memories made the man.

The dark grew warm with body heat.

It didn't last long.

With a sudden volley of fire from Axel's hands, the room was briefly illuminated.

The room was filled with bodies.

Pitch-black bodies with glowing eyes and long, sharp claws, surging towards Olette.

The room was lit once more with another barrage, but the Heartless were so tightly packed that Roxas didn't even have to see them. He bisected six with a single slash, but twelve more were already rushing out of the darkness before his swing had finished. Olette was pressed into a corner, screaming as the Heartless bore down on her. Roxas intercepted the attack and spun, letting the Samurai swords tear through everything within range like a knife through butter, or empty air. He was literally standing over Olette, backed up against the wall, his body in constant motion, his swords stabbing and slashing and slicing like a machine. Across the room, Axel was constantly on the move as well, spinning and slashing with two burning chakrams, kicking and elbowing whenever movement became difficult, shooting fireballs wildly into the crowd whenever he could. Once, he appeared to fall beneath a mountain of chattering neoshadows, but rose up in a massive explosion that cracked the floor beneath him and tossed Heartless like dead leaves. He was as strong as ever, but one of his weapons had been lost, prompting him to light one of his coat sleeves on fire to keep up his offense.

"What happened to 'cool and collected?'" Roxas yelled, "You're going to kill it if you keep fighting like this!" Even though their live probably depended on him, Roxas felt a surge of satisfaction seeing the man lose his cool.

"It hasn't shown up! The damn Heartless hasn't shown up yet!"

"What?"

"Yeah! It's still hiding in the Realm of Darkness like it's waiting for the rest of these punks to take us out!"

"So what do we do?"

"Dunno! But whatever you do, don't hold back!"

As he said this, he formed another fireball in his hand and slammed it into the nearest Heartless.

The shockwave ignited everything within ten feet except himself, turning the surrounding Heartless into a fine black mist. A temporary space cleared, he took the opportunity to flash a devil-may-care grin before leaping back into the fray.

"Got it memorized?"

_Show off._

He had his own problems to deal with. While Axel was at constant risk of being overwhelmed if he stayed in one place too long, Roxas was literally backed into a corner. And while the Heartless could probably care less about a Nobody/Human hybrid, they were very interested in the girl with the half-empty heart. He stabbed desperately, terrified of what would happen if he let his guard down for even a moment.

Insane chittering.

Hungry eyes.

Grasping claws.

Sometimes, they were almost like water, dodging his slashes and stabs at the last moment, slithering towards Olette. Sometimes they were like monkeys, leaping out of the crowd directly at his face, claws flailing. Most of them attacked as a group, packed densely together. It made the fighting easier, but not easy. His entire body hurt from the slashes he had taken, healed, taken again. Across the room, Axel's coat was tattered and torn; he applied cure spells constantly to keep his wounds in check. But they kept on fighting, cutting down anything that got near them, not even trying to count how many Heartless were left. His entire vision was filled with white metal, black silhouettes, and yellow eyes until it wasn't and it was just him and Axel and Olette in an empty room lit only by a flame in Axel's hand.

At the touch of Namine's hand, his swords unraveled into nothingness, forgotten.

"So you really are a knight in shining armor, Roxas," Olette said, bemused.

He didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise.

* * *

Roxas was relieved to see that Olette had recovered somewhat, although she looked ready to have another go at Axel.

"Did you kill it?" she was looking up into the ceiling, as though expecting it to pop out at any moment.

"No, Miss Jessel. I would have specifically _avoided_ killing it if it had entered our realm. I'm sure of that, but I've lost it somehow."

"Maybe it ran away?" suggested Roxas.

"That'd be just our luck, wouldn't it, Roxas? To chase the one Heartless in existence that actually runs from a fight."

"Well, what now?"

"Now, we -" he cut himself off.

Olette was staring at the doorway.

He followed her gaze.

As though there was something there.

"Miss Jessel. There's something you need to do."

"What?"

She must have let her eyes shift away from the door, Roxas thought, just for a millisecond.

She probably wasn't even conscious that she had done it, and if she was, that was understandable.

Coeurls and heartless were two different monsters, but hunting instinct was hunting instinct.

But Olette let her attention slip.

For a moment.

Just a mistake.

Something surged out of the doorway, huge and red.

Just as she noticed it, the thing slammed into her and forced her against the wall.

"Olette!"

"Didn't I remind you to protect her, Roxas? What good are you if you're not gonna at least pretend to be the knight in shining armor?"

The Heartless had her by the neck, pinned against the wall.

Olette groaned, unable to speak.

It was a wonder it hadn't broken her neck.

Roxas called out for Namine, but Axel was already standing by the Heartless.

"You have quite an imagination, Miss Jessel. Maybe it's head looks a bit like a rabbit's, but I don't know what to tell you if you think real rabbits look like this."

"Uh...Axel..."

"Change of plans, you two. It's a novashadow. Much more powerful, you see. We just have to rough it up a little beforehand, though."

Casually, in a way that reminded Roxas of all the times the man had patted him on the back, he looped his elbow around the novashadow's neck...

...and slammed it into an adjacent space of wall and held it there, as though it was as light as Olette.

The Heartless flailed wildly to escape, but he ignored it.

Olette watched in amazement, having slid down to the floor after the Heartless released its grip.

"You okay, Miss Jessel? You've got to land the final blow, after all."

"I thought there was no helping me."

The golden crown hung from her right hand.

"Yeah. About that."

His face was a mask of seriousness as he turned to her.

"I lied."

The chain in her hand clicked.

She shrugged.

"I guessed as much when you didn't cut and run after the Heartless showed up. However, understanding isn't the same as forgiveness."

"I had to summon the Heartless somehow. Breaking you just seemed like the easiest way. You'll bounce back once your good side's restored. But if you don't pull yourself together at least a little bit, we'll be here all night." Its claws dug into his arm. He winced, but continued. "Of course, we could just destroy it here if you're not up to it. I promise I won't put my heart into it, so it'll come back later."

"But that means that we'll have to go through all this again."

"It's a small price to pay to save someone's heart, isn't it, Roxas? It's essential that we get some closure at some point. I'll admit that I might have traumatized you a bit too much, Miss Jessel, but that was a necessary step. Your guard was just too strong. And we can't take care of this like a Nobody. Unless you kill it with your heart, it will come back. If you're the one to do it, it's over. If I'm the one to do it, it's over, for the moment. You'll still be left with your own problems and this guy will come back to haunt you, but you'll be safe for the moment."

"I see, Mr. Lea."

"Respectful again, huh? Can't say I mind, but if all you're gonna do is be respectful, then I guess it's my turn."

He brought the fireball in his other hand closer.

Getting ready to incinerate the thing.

"Wait."

He stopped.

Olette grabbed his arm.

"Wait. I can do this, Mr. Lea."

"You want me to wait, I take it?" the disdain in his eyes was apparent.

"Yes."

"What for?"

"I can do this myself. I was just surprised, that's all."

"I see."

He did not let the Heartless go.

But he didn't bring the fireball closer.

"If you're ready, go ahead."

And Olette...

Did something that Roxas never would have expected.

She paused, considering the golden crown that hung from a chain in her hand, considering whether slashing it to ribbons would do any good.

The chain and the crown dropped to the floor.

Stepping up to the Heartless, she touched its chest, where the heart would be, and pressed down.

"Give it back."

The Heartless struggled some more, but Axel held it fast.

_Is she... talking to it?_

As he watched, her right hand sunk into its body, darkness trickling between her fingers like ink or blood.

Now it was up to her wrist.

Her elbow.

Her shoulder.

Olette Jessel was stealing back her heart.

But she couldn't find it.

The look on her face said enough.

"I'm taking them back. I _will_ take them back."

The Heartless spasmed violently, resisting her. She gritted her teeth and pushed forward, immersed in darkness.

"Give back everything you took from me."

She reached in even deeper, though she should have been touching the wall behind the Heartless.

"Give me back my mom."

And with that, she drew her arm out.

Axel's fist slammed into the wall.

Not because he had crushed it.

But because it had dissolved into smoke.

The smoke rose to the ceiling and faded.

It was gone.

For an moment, Roxas thought he saw something shining in Olette's right hand.

Axel Lea said nothing.

And, even though she knew it was gone, Olette kept looking at the wall.

And crying.

And smiling.

All Roxas could do was watch.


	6. Olette Shadow Part 6

The timeline.

He'd gotten the timeline confused.

Although Roxas had known from the start that her scars and her mother were most likely related, he imagined that Olette had received them after she had met the Heartless, possibly the result of exploratory surgery. But it was just the opposite. Olette, confused and heartbroken, had drawn the Heartless to her as she hid in the woods, when it stole away her weight. And with it, the burden of loving her mother.

It seemed so obvious in hindsight.

While she had been highly social in junior high, Hayner hadn't mentioned whether she was more or less active in high school. Perhaps he simply hadn't known, or perhaps she was subconsciously trying to avoid her house just as much as she avoided everything else. Although her dad was the owner and keeper of the house, memories of her mother and that horrible evening filled the house as well.

He was only mildly surprised to learn that Olette's mother became involved in the group's research before she'd entered high school. Before she was so involved.

At the time, she'd been a cheerful kid.

Cheerful beyond the tone of her voice.

Outgoing.

Interested.

They took advantage of it.

The research group was at the end of its rope with no definite results. Mrs. Jessel would have most likely cut off her funds if it hadn't been for an operation that Olette happened to see when her mother brought her to the laboratory one day.

A flash, a spark from beneath a sheet.

A spirit gem absorbing its host's dying soul.

Magic and science combined.

A look of interest. For just a moment.

A goad to her mother: let's see that look again.

A glimmer of hope for the conmen: let's see your checkbook.

It was a lucky break, whatever they were researching. But they continued to have lucky breaks. These things happened though, according to Axel. Throw enough darts at a dartboard and something's bound to stick. The group's expertise was in serious doubt. But, thanks to Olette's apparent interest, her mother felt justified in continuing to fund them.

Justified, her resolve to see the experiment through was strengthened.

She was doing this for a better world, and for her daughter, as meager as her interest had been.

She was scammed.

But the Jessel family stuck together until Mr. Jessel would no longer allow his wife to enter the house. Though he was not involved in the project, he had tolerated his wife's spending and the conmen's activities until he discovered what had happened.

But his wife's resolve was already justified.

They were a family in name only.

Roxas didn't blame her for feeling like she did.

But, the way she carried herself...

...it was almost impossible to tell if she was feeling anything at all.

Perhaps it came naturally.

Or perhaps a third burden had been taken away as well.

Perhaps her involvement was another subconscious desire. The desire to prove that she was not empty or broken. To perhaps deny the subconscious feeling of emptiness. The pseudo-comfort in place of her happiness. The not-fear.

She must have forced herself.

But that had been gnawing away as well.

The more she became involved, the more she became surrounded by others, and the more people surrounded her, the more danger she was in of being discovered. It was a vicious cycle that she could escape from by politely rejecting everyone.

_Has she always talked like that?_, he wondered. Was it a defense mechanism, a warped memory of how she used to talk? Both?

An attempt to be happy?

All three?

She couldn't be blamed for it. The fact that she even remembered her expression at all on that given day six years ago revealed so much.

Did she blame herself before she blamed her mother? Or was her self-hatred all wrapped up inside?

She must have felt as though everything was her fault, if such a small moment could be captured, described. But it all boiled down to three things:

1) Something happened beneath the sheet.

2) It surprised Olette.

3) Olette's mother misinterpreted the look as interest instead of horror.

She'd taken that look and ran with it and nearly destroyed their family as a result.

Ruined.

Bankrupt.

Almost.

If Mr. Jessel had allowed his wife any share in the company, it would have been all over.

The divorce came swiftly, and Mrs. Jessel vanished to search for the rest of the research group. Olette stayed with her father in his house, and he remarried. Everything was over within a month in her freshman year.

And...

On the night she escaped from her house...

...she met the Heartless.

"Whenever a Heartless takes away something, it's usually trying to make you more like itself," said Axel. "It would have taken your weight if you had nothing else to offer, but they're skilled at finding chinks in people's armor. They're all take and no give. They take more than you want them to and leave you off worse than before, in the long run. You think you're escaping whatever ails you, but you're really walking into an even bigger trap. Pretty strategic for a creature so dumb."

In other words, her "escape" was only a symptom of her inability to escape...

The Heartless had left her feeling even more alone than when she had started.

She cut herself off from others, cut herself off from love and other positive emotions altogether, cut herself off from the one thing she didn't believe in.

She'd escaped.

For the moment.

"Of course, if you don't like the trade, there's no going back, normally. It's like that old saying in schoolyards, right? 'Slap-jack, no trade-backs?' Yeah, for soul-eating monsters, Heartless are pretty immature. They steal anything they can, and then hide away until they can do it again." He smiled. "Cowardly little shits."

There was a certain admiration there, Roxas noticed.

Axel was a pretty shady guy at the best of times.

But, in the end, Olette had given up half her heart. She was freed from the pretense of caring about others who might one day hurt her by throwing it all away.

This...

...simplified things.

It simplified things a lot.

Weighing less, she could easily move much faster, which allowed her to excel at any nearly sport she chose. Her lack of empathy, hidden behind a facade of general politeness, allowed her to push away anyone who got too close with ease. She was completely unfettered by any outward regard for others.

But she'd trapped herself with her negativity and her secrecy.

Not because she didn't have any friends.

Not because she was all alone.

Not because she lived every day in fear of being discovered.

But because she couldn't feel anything good.

Six cons.

All of them had been scientists.

Only one of them had been involved in the research group, and she had been as wary with them as she had with Axel. But the fact that she had even given them the time of day proved that, on some level, she wanted her life to go back to normal.

The mansion was immaculate.

The charms and weapons were polished.

Ever since that night, Olette had kept everything in her possession in as pristine a state as possible, as though trying not to lose anything else.

"Technically, it's not her fault. She was just easy prey, really. Just another warm body and a beating heart for the cons and the Heartless. If she'd tried to fight, she would have died. If she'd known about the Heartless and tried to get her heart back on her own, she'd probably be a Heartless herself now, especially if she tried to bring her mom back. Even now, the balance is only equalized. Neither she nor we have the power to gain from a Heartless encounter. She took back what was taken by the Heartless, but that won't bring her mom back."

Her family was still broken.

There was no mocking tone in Axel's voice. He said this to explain, not to joke.

"Heartless can take anything, really. They can take your emotions, your memories - they're kind of like Nobodies sometimes, but different. They can only attack hearts that are weak enough for them to handle. Miss Jessel's heart was weak, and she let it in. After that, the Heartless was always with her, waiting for more..."

Unintentionally waiting to give it back.

And Olette Jessel wanted it back.

All of it.

Her weight that kept her from simply flying away.

Her heart that could be broken and betrayed.

Perhaps feeling broken at times was better than waiting to make someone else feel the same.

But what happened had happened. There was no going back to three years ago, or before then. Olette's mother wasn't coming back, and the group was still at large.

Nothing had changed.

"No, Roxas. Something's different."

"Really? What's that?"

She'd stripped down to the sweater and her athletic shorts because of the heat, her hair was a mess where she'd torn at it, and her eyes were still streaked with tears, but she was smiling.

"I've made a good friend."

He smiled pityingly. "Well, if you want to call Axel 'good,' be my guest. I'd even be okay with calling him a 'friend.' But both of them together? That's going a little overboard, don't you think?"

"Not him. Do you really think I'd call him a friend after what he did?"

He understood completely. Even though Axel reassured her that threatening to ruin her family a second time was all part of the plan, and the fact that he allowed Namine to eat his memories of her answers right in front of them, Roxas highly doubted that Olette would ask him for help again if she could help it.

She punched him playfully on the shoulder.

_"_I'm talking about _you_."

Of course he'd known it, but the simple, direct way she'd said it left him blushing.

"Thanks, Roxas. I'm sorry for the way I've been, and, honestly, it feels good to be back to my old self."

"That's good."

He held the door open as they boarded the last tram. The doors hissed shut and the tram rumbled along the track beneath them. Olette chatted ecstatically all the way to the Sunset Station, and Roxas found it hard not to smile as well. They talked about how she'd have to work a lot harder to be a sports champion and how it would just kill Hayner to see them walking to school together and how the rest of the school would act. They talked all the way to Olette's mansion, and stood at the front gate until one in the morning when he helped her climb the fence.

As she waved goodbye from her front door, Roxas felt almost like he was walking on air.

The morning seemed so far away.

* * *

The morning came way too fast.

Roxas awoke to his stepsisters pulling the sheets off, as usual. Though he didn't feel sick and his head was clear, his muscles ached horribly.

_Maybe I could just skip?_

_But I agreed to walk with Olette._

It was odd. He'd come out of the battle better than Axel had, and was a bit scratched up and out of breath at worst. He felt as though the day was going to turn out all right, but the floorboards creaked beneath him with every step and he nearly somersaulted down the stairs on his way to the bathroom.

_What the heck's going on._

He brushed his teeth, showered, and got dressed.

On a whim, he stepped onto the scale.

Somehow, it didn't bother him that much.

_I see. That's why._

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Olette showed up.

"'Morning, Roxas. Sorry to make you wait for me."

"You have no idea what a comedian you are."

"Huh?"

He told her.

* * *

"Well, I'm sorry again for keeping you... 'weighting.'"

She was enjoying the situation vastly more than Roxas.

He didn't say anything.

He just tripped and fell on his face.

"Oh! OH! I'm so sorry, Roxas! Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." His forehead was already halfway healed.

"Oh. I guess I didn't understand the _gravity_ of the situation! Haha!"

"It's good to see you in such a good mood. It'll be even better when I get my hands on a gravity spell."

"That sure sounds like a heavy proposition. But, tell me: why is this happening to you?"

"No idea. I haven't talked to Axel yet, but I think he might be having the same problems as well. Namine, too, perhaps, but I doubt it."

"Why's that?"

"I'm not sure, but it's kind of like this: last night, we were all miserable - 'in the dark' as Axel put it. I felt betrayed, you were probably afraid, and Axel -"

"_Wait_. Axel was miserable?"

"Yeah. He hated that. Wrecking someone like that is something he absolutely hates."

Olette gave him a skeptical look but said nothing.

"Anyways, last night, we were all connected by that for a few minutes. Then, when you got your weight and the other half of your heart back, we were connected more positively. So, when you got everything back, everyone in the room got an qual portion as well. Think of it as a weird synchro spell."

She frowned, thinking it over.

"So you're saying I have to lose a few pounds?"

The book bag was slung over her shoulder.

She didn't reach for it.

He backpedaled anyways.

"Not necessarily. It'll probably wear off on its own, which is why Axel didn't bother telling us."

"You mean he didn't bother telling _you._ I feel perfectly fine!" She performed a flawless cartwheel just to demonstrate what "fine" felt like.

Roxas was less than impressed.

"Yeah. Until I bust out that gravity spell."

"Using magic for practical jokes? That's pretty weird if you ask me."

"When you get involved with the stuff I do, 'weird' kind of loses its meaning."

"Like all the looks we're going to get at school today?"

"Like all the looks _you're_ going to get at school today." He smiled.

She frowned again. "All right, be that way. What else?"

"The underground is haunted by the ghost of a store clerk."

"Really? Why is he a store clerk?"

"Why not? He had to be something when he was alive, after all. Why not a store clerk?"

"Fair enough. What else?"

"It'd take too long for me to tell you everything."

He felt her hand grasp his, her skin silky smooth.

He turned to see a face with a pair of eyes like polished remembrance shards and a confident smile.

"Then I guess you'll just have to show me, won't you?"


End file.
